When White People Get Restless

You know what happens when a white guy gets restless? He goes on a motorcyle without a helmet, because he feels invincible. If I had a Super Bowl ring, I’d probably do everything in my power to make sure I don’t get injured in any freakish off-the-field ways. Didn’t Ben realize that his body is truly a multi-million dollar asset? He’s so lucky, and he doesn’t even know it. Maybe he thought he was Collussus from the X-men. That's my best theory.

Anyways, I have some World Cup thoughts I have to get off my chest:

1) I am extremely disappointed with my own selection of Argentina to make the Finals. Argentina is BY FAR, the biggest culprits at “flopping” and pretending to be injured during the game. I’ve never seen anything like it and I feel like I’m rooting for a bunch of cheaters. It's like a team of Vlade Divac's that have spent years at perfecting the form of grimacing and properly timing their tumbles.

2) Cote D'Ivoire’s [Ivory Coast's] midfielders looked great against Argentina, and it helpd them to create a whopping 15 shots on goal. The problem was, their forwards were indecisive and inaccurate and only managed 1 goal, despite the multitude of opportunities. Granted, the midfield helped create 4 solid odd-man rushes. Their next game, in the Group of Death, should be just as exciting. So I would recommend taping the Friday June 16 Netherlands-Ivory Coast game that starts at noon on ESPN2.

3) France – sacre bleu! They still can’t score a goal. It’s the most uncanny phenomenon, how this team has no trouble scoring during friendlies and qualifying (they scored 14 goals in their last 10 games, not great, but still, at least more than a goal per game) BUT when the World Cup finals roll around, everyone is so nervous that they can’t score at all. Anyway, after winning in 1998, France failed to score in 2002, and already has started out with a 0-0 tie on Tuesday. Which means that Korea can practically clinch a berth in the 2nd round with a victory over France on Sunday! Korea has a prime opportunity to really show that they belong in the world’s elite if they can beat down the French. I highly recommend watching the France vs. Korea game on Sunday June 18 at 2:30PM on ABC. What better way to celebrate Father’s day than to give the gift of great soccer? Or at the least seeing the French people get frustrated may be fun.