Monday, June 12, 2006

Raising the White Flag...for victory

As I watched as the over-matched US squad was mauled by the faster, bigger and better Czech squad a few thoughts crept out on my subconscious and onto the blog.

1) What the hell did Slovakia get out of the Velvet Divorce? What once was Czechoslovakia became two nations soon after the fall of the Berlin. The Czech Republic got Prague, sports, women, money and women. What exactly did Slovakia get out of the deal?

2) More importantly…. the days of US hegemony in sports is over. Heck, the days of US winning in sports seems over. While the US soccer team's swan dive on the world stage is depressing let's be frank, they're not the only US sports team that has tripped over its own shoe laces. The US basketball team was a far greater object of ridicule when it couldn't even manage a trip to the championship game. The US baseball team was bypassed by a communist island and the country that invented thunder sticks. Europe thrashed the US at golf during the Ryder Cup. Even the Aussie's beat us at Texas Hold'em. You might point to Lance Armstrong but he's retired now and besides he really was representing his native land of Krypton.

Now rather than watch the US lose or learn to celebrate ties like Trinidad and Tobago I suppose we could refocus our efforts and try harder. But that’s just not the American way. The American way is doing things half-ass. So here at the Back Seat Driver's I propose that we raise the white flag and adopt a new country to root for…possibly getting new citizenship if that’s what it takes. I've already taken the liberty of contacting the State Department on our behalf…I wouldn't try to use your passport any time soon and the FBI might need a few words with us but otherwise I think we're in the clear.

So the question becomes what region/country do we root for/join? Continental Europe? Nah…no spine. Canada? Too few drunken riots. England? Too many drunken riots. India? Too much bubonic plague. The country that I think the Back Seat Drivers should adopt is Australia. No new language requirements. Lots of sun. They have great white sharks and really large beers. Yes, I think this Australia would be a good home. The next step is figuring out when the rugby championships are and celebrate the Aussie victory…..

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