The Beer Draft... Round 4 and 5

4th round

With the 19th overall selection, Gutsy Goldberg selects:

Yuengling - this beer was started in 1829 in Pennsylvania, and claims to be the oldest brewery in American, and the beer is mysteriously delicious. Granted, finding Yuengling is difficult if you're not in their "10-state service area" and Ohio is not one of the areas. Yuengling brings back fond memories of a great road trip I once took to Penn St. We went to the bar that day to watch the Ohio State game, and we ordered countless $3 PITCHERS of the sweet beer. Only on a college campus could a great beer cost so little. The beer went down easy, and even while drinking too many, it doesn't appear to cause hangover problems. This is great news for Team Gutsy Goldberg, as this selection will help penetrate the college-market, where having a lack of a hangover is a distinct advantage so that customers can rejuvenate and continue drinking more beer the moment they wake up.
MJ: yuengling is an inspired choice. i love that stuff. your 3rd and 4th rounders far upstage your first 2!

With the 20th Overall Pick:

Budweiser/Bud Light: The King of Beers.

What do you drink at the titty bar when the top shelf beer is Heineken and it costs $10? You drink Bud Light of course. Not only is Bud Light the substitute on a budget night (or when your $ bills are making it rain) it's the natural late inning set-up man. You're at home… you're with a lady, and you need to seal the deal but do not forget to tend your buzz!! A lost buzz can be the difference between getting into her pants and failing. You reach for a Bud Light because a) you can't taste anything after a night of drinking; b) its late; c) only chicks keep Amstel Light around the house. Bud Light takes to you the closer (TROJAN) with the efficiency and smile of a veteran reliever.

Billions of dollars have been spent selling the Anheuser-Busch taste. Please enjoy these blasts from the past.










Gutsy: I feel honored that MJ is not using his super-rage powers on me, and I appreciate his support of my last two selections.

on the 20th pick - I can't believe Budweiser just got taken. Makes me even more proud that I snatched up Sam Adams when I could.

suggestion for next time we have a "Mock Draft" - we could have someone pretend to be Mel Kiper Jr and have a "Big Board" . they can also pretend to interview people/beers/things that are still waiting to be selected.

Publius: Sam Adams lubes Bill Simmons butt sex.

With the 22nd pick of this draft Colonel Sanders' Jungle Rots selects Paulaner Oktoberfest.

When you think of drunken debauchery you think of Oktoberfest. And Paulaner Oktoberfest is the best selling beer at the Munchen festival. For his wedding in 1810, Ludwig I, the Crown Prince of Bavaria, commissioned all of the Munich breweries to develop a new style of beer to commemorate the occasion. The beer was so good that the party lasted for days and Oktoberfest beer was born. Only the real beer drinkers drink their beer out of a liter jug (aka a stein) instead of a pint glass. Who can't go wrong with 6 million people consuming 6 million liters of beer and driving 6 millions cars backwards on the Autobahn? So grab your leiderhosen, accordian and stein and clash them together in honor of one of the greatest beers in the land.

Also, monks are the ones who discovered it and I guess monks really know how to party it up. I guess celibacy, living in some place miles away from civilization and praying all the time causes people to drink. Who knew?
With the 23rd pick in the draft, MJ's Rage-a-Holics select Brooklyn Brown Ale.

All this back-and-forth sniping about Chicago made me realize that my hometown has something to offer in the beer department. Brooklyn's Brown Ale is a rich beer, perfect for burgers and nachos at your local sports bar. Brooklyn is a hipper, cooler, bigger, and nicer city than most in America so it stands to reason that it should have a beer that's blue-collar enough to enjoy anywhere at any time, but from a microbrew company that's eco-friendly as well. That's why I'm proud to support the beers of a company which became the first in NYC to
switch to 100% wind-generated electricity. Step 1. Drink their beer. Step 2. Fart a ton. Step 3. Farts cause more power. Step 4. More beer is produced. Step 5. Follow Step 1.

With the 24th Pick Mighty's Semi-Sobers will show some Cleveland pride and Go with the best Microbrew the Fighting Northeast Section of Ohio has to offer...The Great Lakes Brewing Company Eliot Ness Amber Lager. According to the caption this beer has crisp noble hops. I'm not sure what makes hops noble let alone crisp but I bet having Mr. Eliot Ness on the label helps a great deal. For the record there is indeed a reason why Ness is on the label as he was a safety inspector in my fair city and according to legend shot the bar where this particular micro-brew is made. How many beers can say that their name is a result of a shot up bar. Not too many I say not too many....

5th Round:

And with the 25th Pick and Mighty's last I'm going with......

Bell's Oberon Ale. Bell's located in the heart of the fightingest part of the fightingest town in the central part of michigan (Kalamazoo). Bell's has a wonderful sampler of beers. I'd recommend getting the sampler platter if you ever go to that town up North. Nonetheless the best of the best is Oberon. Only made during the summer Oberon is an American Wheat Beer (fuck the belgiums what have they done for us lately. besides they all have these huge ego issues. you really think im going to give them something else to crow about) with Saaz hops. I'm not sure what Saaz hopes are but I assume its German or Flemish or Swahali for "pure joy". So lay around on a hot summer day with Oberon. Its hard to find but if you do its definitely worth it.....

Publius: I cant believe he picked a beer from up north!!

Mighty: Its a good beer. i suppose constant losing makes one bitter and extreme....

Since it seems like this is the last round, MJ's Rage-A-Holics are picking Red Stripe.

Best beer commercials of 2005 and the great slogan "Hooray Beer" sums it all up. A tasty lager in a cool bottle that subs as a fantastic foreign object to throw at people. It's an island drink so it evokes both beach-lounging and scantily clad women. Total package and a great value for this late in the draft. Hooray beer!

Gusty: Don't forget about "Holy Moses White Ale", another great name, and great beer, at the Great Lakes Brewing Co. I will just pretend I didn't hear you rip on the whole state of Ohio. Hooray MJ for picking Red Stripe. Also cracked up when I thought someone was actually picking Schmitt's Gay. Chris Farley is hilarious.

With the 27th pick of the draft, Colonel Sanders' Jungle Rots are picking Boddington Pub Ale.

A stalwart in the British community. Not a soccer riot has begun without someone chugging down a Boddington's. Another of the widget beers, this one only pales in comparision to Guinness. For those that can't stand the taste or texture of the motor oil beers (pussies), Boddington's might be your way to go. I tend to keep a large stash of it in my refrigerator in case I feel like walking Manchester football or singing "God Save the Queen".

With the 28th Pick: Publius and his all-stars picks
Schmitts gay "If you've got a tall thirst and you're gay, reach for a cold bottle of
Schmitts gay."

J/k.

Double Bag Ale-- Long Trail Brewing Company Vermont. Vermont has many fine micros (magic hat, rock art, otter creek) but Double Bag and the Winter Ale Hibernator win my vote. Dark Amber, 7.2 %, and cows on the label.

Pick #30

Gutsy Goldberg selects...

Lindemans Framboise

Lindemans is a Belgian brewery, that makes one beer in particular called Lindemans Framboise that is a Raspberry Lambic that goes great with appetizers and desserts. The Lindemans Framboise also is a Gold Medal winner at the World Beer Championships. Most women enjoy Lambic beers because they are especially fruity, which is why this is my final selection. As Al Pacino (Tony Montana) once said in Scarface, "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." It is this advice that I used as the strategy for guiding my beer selections. By starting out with Sam Adams and Corona, these selections are sure to make a lot of money as they are quality beers that are widely distributed. I then was able to gain influence and power through my selections of Sam Smith and Yuengling which are beers renowned for their taste and have championship pedigree. Finally, by choosing Lindemans Framboise, I have the power to attract a multitude of women to my selection of beers. I'm also proud that I successfully utilized Tony Montana's strategy without even peddling drugs or killing anyone.

Publius: perhaps you should have selected Schmidt's Gay.