Newsflash

Last night on March 15th, the Duke Blue Devils were pronounced dead when Eric Maynor of VCU drove a wooden stake through the heart of their legend. Doctors were unable to revive the idea that Duke is an elite program anymore after Duke was unable to escape the first round against an 11th seeded team. An autopsy performed afterwards revealed that Josh McRoberts was indeed soft. Funeral services will be held in Durham tomorrow. Extra shots will be consumed at Chapel Hill today starting at noon.