Bill Simmons, You Broke My Heart

Ok, for one since I haven't blogged since the overall of the government of blogdom by the imperialist's Google, I figured I would add myself to the contributors. The second reason I wanted to write was because Bill Simmons has finally come to the end of the Colonel's reign. The fleet of Colonel's Special Forces (monkeys with night vision goggles) have been dispatched to throw feces on his house. As of today I will not be reading his crap again. I am not sure what happened to him. Maybe his contract with ESPN made his head get bigger and he forgot how to analyze sports or maybe he just started taking heroin and forgot to write any funny articles. But now he is just unreadable. In the past months, I found myself skimming over his articles. I now use Nietzsche and even Wikipedia for my daily bowel movement reading. What happened, Bill? If you can't even be good enough in the bathroom, you have lost all abilities of writing. The final straw was his discussion of the Big 10 basketball demise. While I can't say that I am a afficianado of college basketball, I do understand the general idea around which teams are better. To say that Texas, Texas A&M, and Kansas are better than Wisconsin is laughable. Generally, if a college team (which plays 8 minutes less than the NBA, genuis) gives up 100 points in not one but three games that is considered not having too great of defense. I know that two of those games went to overtime but still. I am sorry that watching Wisconsin play isn't like watching your one butt buddy Steve Nash and the Suns play. I am also sorry that your other butt buddies, Tom Brady, Josh Beckett (before he got injured), Davis from the Real World, Larry Bird, Durant, Johnny Damon (before he got traded), Ray Bourgue (before he got traded), and fill in the blank Boston athletes are not involved in the Big 10.

Bill Simmons you broke my heart...I will not read you ever again. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand? Go out fishing with your dad and say some hail marys.