Bizarro New Yorker

Back on February 21st of this year, I entered into a friendly wager with Gutsy Goldberg, one of my co-Editors-in-Chief. The terms of the bet were clear: if the Phoenix Suns didn’t advance into the Western Conference Finals, I would have to write an article that was 100% complimentary about Boston sports.

Thanks to Phoenix’s utter refusal to play defense and Steve Nash picking the worst possible time to play one of the worst games of his career, here I am, stuck in the unenviable position of having to write this article. But since I won’t welch on a bet, here goes...

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My estrangement from baseball over the past several months has been a very difficult one. Yet here we are 30 games into the new season and I never bothered to post a “2008 Preview” or talk about all the interesting moves that happened during the offseason. I still follow the Yankees every day and I own a number of fantasy teams that require my daily attention but my love of major league baseball in general is pretty much over. Until Commissioner Selig is dead and buried and I can go to his grave and piss on the tombstone, I don’t see myself ever being as passionate about America’s Pastime.

That’s why I’m so grateful to the Judges, Brandeis University’s baseball team! It’s refreshing to know that there’s a baseball team that plays in Boston that I can root for and be proud of. After all, if you can’t get behind a school named for Louis D. Brandeis then you’re not down with baseball or American history. And if you’re not down with the great game of baseball or American history then chances are we’re not friends.

Despite an uneven 17-16 overall record with only two games left to play, Brandeis tied Emory University as co-champions of the University Athletic Association! The team was powered by four players, each of whom was honored with All-Association honors. LF Tony Deshler and 2B John O’Brion were elected to the UAA’s first team, and they were joined by 1B Nick Gallagher and C Artie Posch, both second-team honorees. The post-season honors don’t end there, as Deshler, a freshman, was also named UAA Rookie of the Year with his impressive batting line of .331/.360/.486. Deshler led the Judges in triples, RBI, and steals, and finished second on the team in runs scored and home runs.

I’m really sorry that I didn’t know more about the Brandeis Judges during their 2008 championship season. My most heartfelt congratulations to the Judges and their fans for bringing home a championship and for enriching the championship pedigree of one of America’s most historic cities.

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You have no idea how hard that was for me. I always heard suicide was painless...maybe I’ll test that theory.