Thursday, October 16, 2008

Cheers and Jeers: Freddy Kruger Edition

While FDR may have once said "You have nothing to fear but fear itself" that is so last century. Today our current President or King or whatever the phrase is said in his weekly radio addresses"Abandon your post! Flee! Flee for your life!" Unfortunately for us he got distracted by a shiny penny and never finished his thought on what we should truly be scared of. So here's my updated list of things to be worried about

Pacman Jones
I think its apparent now that Pacman Jones represents a threat to this nation. I mean he scuffled with someone. He's out of control. Its obvious the man needs to be locked up Hannibal Lecter style before he shoots someone on the field. Don't worry, humanitarian and provider for the little people Roger Goodall is on the scene!

Predator Pony See the catch with predator pony is your going to think its cute or harmless and then it'll use some crazy ass slicing device on your and it'll be all over. I'm pretty sure thats how the US got Che Guevara. Predator Pony.

Bear Cavalry
Fast, smart Bears that probably have swords. I would say if confronted by the Bear Cavalry the best solution is to soil yourself and hope for the best but the probable outcome is your fucked.


Kent Brockman: Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?
Professor: Yes I would, Kent.

Keeley Hazell

Can you think of anything that could stop her?

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