Coach Coughlin

Amen!

I’ve always liked Coach Coughlin, even if he had a tendency to be a tad heavy-handed at times. When it looked like he might get fired at the end of the 2006 season, I wasn’t entirely in favor of letting him go but I could see the reasons behind such a move. Once the team decided that it was giving Coughlin a “last-chance” season, I was happy, if only because I felt that continuity was important at a time when Eli was in the throes of a make-or-break stretch of his career.

I’m really happy that the team has extended Coughlin for another four seasons. Obviously there’s no telling what the future holds for this team. I haven’t changed my opinion of Eli Manning – he’s still a mediocre talent with a lethal dose of streakiness – but I do believe that whatever challenges the team faces, they can at least look to the reservoir of goodwill and faith that Coughlin has built up with his players.

The next four seasons may not always be pretty and there’s a better than 50-50 chance that Coughlin doesn’t even make it to the end of his contract (coaches rarely do). But I’m looking forward to seeing Coughlin in a role that he’s never been in before – that of a winner.

A-10 - Facts, Stats, and Attempted Analysis 2008

The Atlantic 10 was scheduled to get as many as 4 bids, but now it may only be 3, especially since Dayton has lost a whopping 8 of 11 games and Rhode Island now has lost 4 of 5 games (ouch!). The funny thing is – there are still scenarios where the Atlantic 10 gets as many or more bids than the ACC or the Big 10! After my initial look at these teams though, the A-10 could also just have a couple teams getting in, because everyone’s just beating each other up in this conference. FYI - Atlantic 10 is fractions of a point behind the big 6 power conferences and behind the MVC, according to Sagarin's rankings.

Xavier, Sag #9, 1st in conference at 12-1, 24-4
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Kent St., Indiana, Cincy, Kansas St (by 26),
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Miami(OH)!, Arizona St, Tennessee, Temple
3P% - 39.9%, Reb. Margin = +5.9 , FT 76%, FG 47.9%, Opp. FG 40.1% –
Xavier is the one team from the A-10 that we absolutely know will be in the big dance. They have multiple 3-point shooters, play great defense, shoot well from the line and have a healthy rebounding margin by using a lineup with one little man and four other guys who are all over 6-6. A very balanced attack for the Musketeers with 6 guys averaging between 9.9 and 11.6 ppg. Of the six, 4 shoot between 40.4 and 43.2% from 3-point land. So, it’s really unclear how they are going to hurt you. When they beat Indiana, they held Eric Gordon to 4-12 from the field and held Indiana to 38.5% from the field. In that game, CJ Anderson (6-6 g/f, averaging 10.5 ppg, 6.2 reb) and BJ Raymond (6-6 g/f, averaging 10.8 ppg, 42.6% for 3s) were the leading scorers for Xavier. Little known fact: their point guard, Drew Lavender, is only 5-7!

St. Joe’s, Sag #46, 2nd in conference at 8-4, 17-8
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Rhode Island, Penn St., Umass (twice), Villanova,
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Gonzaga, Holy Cross, Creighton, Charlotte, La Salle,
3P% - 40.9%, Reb. Margin = +0.7 , FT 71.9%, FG 48.5%, Opp. FG 43.8% –
This team has had an easy schedule and it’s best win to date out-of-conference is Villanova. They don’t rebound well, but if they continue to keep winning in-conference, they’ll get into the tourney. They do have some bizzare losses on it’s schedule, which gives me some concern, but they’ve been playing well against the big teams in conference thus far. The team is led by Pat Calathes, a 6-10 forward, who averages 18.5 ppg, 7.9 reb, and shoots a healthy 44% from 3-point land. They have an efficient 2nd-leading scorer in Ahmad Nivins, a 6-9 forward, who despite only taking 7.5 shots a game, has been shooting 65% from the field to pour in 14.2 ppg, and 5.9 reb.

UMass, Sag #58, 6th in conference at 7-6, 18-9
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Syracuse, Boston Coll, Houston, Rhode Island (twice),
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: N. Iowa, IUPUI, Vanderbilt, St. Joe’s (twice), Fordham
3P% - 34.9%, Reb. Margin = -2.1 , FT 67.2%, FG 44.2%, Opp. FG 43% –
This team is ranked unexpectedly high in the computers, but is really benefitting from beating Rhode Island twice and from Houston playing so well in C-USA. They have 4 guys who do almost the entire scoring output. What’s concerning is that they don’t appear to play defense well in comparison to their own poor shooting and they don’t rebound and they can’t shoot 3s. Nothing to love with these guys. Pick ‘em to lose if they make the tourney. They are led by Gary Forbes, a 6-7 forward, who averages 20.3 ppg and 7.9 reb on only 41% FG. Harris, a 6-2 guard, takes a lot of shots as well and averages 17.7 ppg on only 41% FG. Their best 3-point threat is Etienne Brower, a 6-8 forward, who averages 12.6 ppg, 6.6 reb, and 41.5% 3P%.

Temple, Sag #91, 3rd in conference at 7-5, 14-12 overall
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Ohio, Xavier, Penn
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Tennessee, Villanova, Florida, Duke, Charlotte, Richmond, Fordham
3P% - 36.9%, Reb. Margin = -1.5 , FT 74.1%, FG 46.9%, Opp. FG 43% –
As usual, Temple scheduled a bunch of tough games. Unfortunately, they really didn’t pick up any key victories out of conference, though they did beat Xavier in-conference. At this point, they’ll have to win the A-10 tourney to make it in. Temple has two main guys in Dionte Christmas (Dickie V would love this guy’s name if he makes the tourney) and Mark Tyndale. Christmas, a 6-5 guard, gets 20.2 ppg, 6.4 reb, and shoots tons of 3s (takes 8.5 per game!) and shoots 38.6% from 3-point land, but has more turnovers than assists. Tyndale, a 6-5 guard, gets 16.5 ppg, 6.7 reb, and 3.9 assists, but 3.3 turnovers.

Rhode Island, Sag #50, 8th in conference at 6-7, 20-8 overall
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: UAB, Syracuse, Providence
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Boston College, Dayton, St. Louis, Temple
3P% - 38.9%, Reb. Margin = +2.8 , FT 69.3%, FG 47.5%, Opp. FG 43.3% –
They started out at 14-1 with a soft non-conference schedule, and have just gotten flattend of late in the A-10. This team is an enigma in my mind. Their leading scorer is Will Daniels a 6-8 forward who shoots a poor 36.6% from 3-point land, but 51% from the field with 19 ppg, 6.7 reb. Their next 2 leading scorers, Baron and Bitee (both 6-2 guards) shoot 41.9% and 52.8% from 3-point land.

Dayton, Sag #71, 12th in conference at 5-8, 17-9 overall
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Louisville, Pitt, Miami (OH),
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: George Mason, Richmond, Duquesne, La Salle
3P% - 37.3%, Reb. Margin = +5.1 , FT 64.1%, FG 47.1%, Opp. FG 43.0% –
Like Rhode Island, they started out at 12-1, and they really have run into problems despite solid non-conference victories over Louisville and Pitt. They are led by Brian Roberts, a 6-2 guard, who averages 19.3 ppg, 3.7 assists, and 45% from 3-point land. Their next 5 guys all average between 6 and 10 ppg, so Brian Roberts does not have much help. They are missing 2nd leading scorer and their leading rebounder, Chris Wright, a 6-8 freshman forward, who has a fractured bone in his ankle. Without him Dayton is 4-8. They still aren’t sure if he’s coming back or not.

TK to the Enemies List

I have two lists here at BSD. The coaching douchebag list and the enemies list (people that deserve to be scissor kicked in the duwadnum) Add Tony Kornheiser to the enemies list following his hissy-fit over bloggers. I'm not sure why pundits who get paid millions to preen away empty headed on topics freak out so much about blogs that they feel its funny if we "get crushed by dumpsters". Luckily KSK has taken TK to woodshed and beaten him upside his head. See if funny when violence happens to pompous oafs as opposed to me because well its not me. Also unnamed sources say TK enjoys blowing goats on the subways of New York. Oh and your douchebag co-host is dangerously close to getting added to the enemies list. He has officially been warned as well.

2/26 Mighty Quick Hitts

Apparently I have some sort of responsibilities thats non-blogger related. Who knew? So posting for me will be a little light this week. And unfortunately sober at least until Friday. Oh the humanity

Bruce Pearl Drank Your Milkshake
I'm pretty sure this is the first time that a Jewish chest painter has coached a Southern team to #1 in the polls. Tennessee knocked off previously unbeaten Memphis through great outside shooting and not sucking at free throw shooting (of which Memphis failed horribly at this task). The SEC has been pretty soft in basketball so I expect short of an injury that the Volunteers skate in on flapjacks to a #1 seed in the tournament

Hansborough ain't all waiting on you. That's vanity
Over in the heart of basketball country UNC has also positioned itself nicely for a number 1 or number 2 seed. While a deep squad they really are powered by fastest baller alive Ty Lawson so when he went down with the dreaded high ankle sprain it looked grim for the Tar Heelers. However Tyler Hansborough has stepped up his game throwing down 20-10 games on a regular basis and senior leadership via Quentin Thomas has held the point guard position down. When Lawson gets back this team becomes contender for the title.

This is your third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it.
I am demanding no decisions be rendered about the NBA trades at least until the playoffs. You got to wait for the gestation. I mean its fine to make your predictions and guesses but nearly all of these trades were made with an eye at the second or later rounds of the playoffs and until that happens I don't any definitive judgments.

Cheers and Jeers: Far West Edition

Ingredients:

• 15 ml Brandy
• 15 ml Advocaat
• 15 ml Dry Vermouth
• 1 dash Angostura bitters

At an objective level the West is deeper and better balanced than ever. A flurry of trades pushed the gap between the haves in the West and all the rest even wider. Currently Golden State would be the third seed in the East but in the West misses the playoffs. A mere five game separates the first place Hornets from the Warriors fueled by George Karl alcohol riddled mind. Each of the teams tinkered with their lineups somehow. Golden State adding some 80 year old guy that played for Michigan while the Lakers got the big prize of all-star Gasol. Its not often I openly advocate for people to watch something (ok maybe the midget tossing Olympics held in Bangkok) but if you ever enjoyed basketball now is the time to stay up late and watch away....

And now for some cheering and jeering....

Cheers to Chris Paul absolutely destroying human flotsam and Captain Selfish Jason Kidd. Kidd was mauled by Paul. I'm no entirely sure when Kidd became a second tier point guard but it sure was on display last night.

Jeers: To wave of franchise tags being applied to various NFL players. When it happens to a few players its one thing but something rubs me the wrong way about this new trend.

Cheers: To soon to be ex-IU coach Sampson getting suspended. I look forward to him serving me a Chipotle Burrito in the spring.

Jeers: To the escalating war of words between Scott Boras and Gary Sheffield. I don't understand why they can't solve their disagreement with knives. Why words? That doesn't help anybody

Cheers: To the Oscars. I'm voting for No Country for Old Men as best picture of the year with Daniel Day Lewis getting Best actor.

And your Cheers and Jeers gal of the week.....Monica Bellucci who helped teach me Italian while I taught her how to kickbox.

NBA 2008 - Arms Race

The NBA has NEVER had a season with this many blockbusters. Not even close. It's the ultimate arms race this season. Here are some quick thoughts on the ridiculous and unpredictable trades in the NBA that happened in the last week:

1) Cleveland -
Is this a good deal? Still trying to get my head around it, but basically, the Cavs are rolling the dice with relatively little risk when you compare the team to their current position. Currently, they were relying on Larry Hughes to play good defense and to handle the ball offensively. Now, the Cavs have a much higher ceiling with Ben Wallace, Wally World, Joe Smith, and Delonte West. So if you compare the before and after, it's a good gamble (I think). The most surprising part about the Cleveland trades is that Cleveland really is in no worse of a position long-term as Hughes and Ben Wallace have similar deals expiring in 2010, Gooden and the other spare parts combine to equal Wally and each expire in 2009, with Donyell Marshall expiring in 2009 but Joe Smith expiring this summer. If anything, it adds a little bit of flexibility this summer (if you can clear out some other expiring deals), though initially, the Cavs are obviously spending more money. So, congratulations are in order to Danny Ferry who essentially is taking a free roll of the dice with financial implications that are no worse than standing pat.

Of course, the biggest question marks which will determine the success of the Cavs' trades are:
a) is Ben Wallace washed up? All he needs to do is play defense and rebound, but no one is sure if he can even do that. If he can do that, this trade really is a success.

b) Can Wally stay healthy with his back, ankle, knee, etc.? As Mighty points out, Hughes was injured all the time, so now the Cavs just have added another 3-point shooter when healthy.

c) If the Cavs were winning on rebounding and defense before the trade, what will happen afterwards? Obviously, Ben Wallace can play defense but I honestly don't know about Joe Smith, Wally (he doesn't play defense), and Delonte West.

d) Who is handling the ball other than Lebron? This is where it gets dicey with West and Gibson assuming the ball-handling along with Lebron. Ultimately though, Lebron has the ball in his hands most of the time anyways on the offensive end.

2) New Orleans - I guess it's nice to have a scorer in Bonzi Wells coming off the bench, but he's always been a problem character-wise. It's interesting that their trading partner ended up being Houston who's also right in the middle of the Western playoff hunt, but apparently, Bonzi was not in their plans. Ultimately, it's only a slight upgrade from having Bobby Jackson (who went to Houston as part of the trade). Long-term: bad trade as they had to pick-up Mike James contract.

3) San Antonio - They wanted an extra big man, and found one in Kurt Thomas. I don't exactly understand why they got rid of Brent Barry, who I thought played a solid role in shooting 3s off the bench. Not a major move, not a major price.

4) Dallas - Acquiring Jason Kidd was dumb. One of the reasons they beat the Spurs in the playoffs 2 years ago was they had a fast Devin Harris to guard Tony Parker and they had Diop to guard Duncan. Now, they're both gone! I even saw an article about how Dallas was trying desperately to acquire another big-man because they know they have a problem now with only Eric Dampier there. Will, the article may have been true, but they never found another big-man. Maybe they can lure Shawn Bradley out of retirement. I don't like this deal from a short-term perspective or a long-term perspective. Good thing Mark Cuban has money to burn.

5) Seattle (who unloaded Kurt Thomas and Wally and Delonte West) now has 13 draft picks for the next 3 drafts and probably has the most amount of cap space this offseason of any team. The question is, will they get Shawn Marion, Gilbert Arenas, Jamison, Luol Deng, or Ben Gordon? You'd have to figure they'd get at least one.

Monday Round Up

Well I'm still searching for the proper column to pen early in the week. I was originally considering a random rant or a formal column on a particular topic or the current default of grab bag. I wish I could create cartoons. There's just not enough cartoons satirizing sports stars anymore. That and a lack of tang. I'm not sure which is worse...

1. NBA Playoff Hunt - Of all the teams to watch as the playoff hunt kicks into the post All Star Break high gear probably the most intriguing are the Lakers. On paper its hard to argue another team is more talented. Two legitimate all-stars in Kobe and Gasol and two above averages in Bynum and Odom plus a collection of solid "glue guys" with Fisher and Walton at minimum. However Bynum is out and Kobe injured. Will Kobe play out the year or opt for surgery? If he does can the Lakers make the playoffs? How will Bynum integrate himself with Gasol when he returns? So many interesting questions and so much promise.

2. Inter-state Heat - For only the 5th time ever the #1 and #2 teams in the NCAA basketball are not only from the same state but playing each other. Memphis and Tennessee will go head to head. Both I feel have a lot to prove in terms of National Championship potential. Memphis just barely escaped UAB with a lucky (ahem) ref call. Tennessee has thrived a weak SEC. Well come Selection Time this game will mean a ton....

3. Soccer? Really? - Yep if you somehow can get the games tune in Tuesday and Wednesday for Champion's League. I've been told by our European Correspondent (who's identity remains anonymous due to national security) by Arsenal v. Defending Champ AC Milan as well Roma v. Real Madrid are the big games (with of course the scrappy team out of Turkey also must watch)

4. Perriloux Gone? With large amounts of schadenfreude I can state that it looks like the superstar next big thing at LSU Ryan Perrilloux is being kicked off the team. No reason given but I can only assume it involves international waters, a cockfight and Bea Arthur.

5. Hopes and Prayers - Somedays I miss out on the news of the day so when I say that Vikings' Kenechi Udeze was diagnosed with Leukamia it really took me by surprise. Its sometimes hard to imagine these titans suffer from the same ailments as us mere mortals. Obviously my hopes and prayers go out to Kenechi and his family.

ACC - Facts, Stats, and Attempted Analysis 2008

I originally thought the ACC conference was highly ranked this season and primed for success. But after looking through the teams, it’s really just Duke and UNC and then a whole bunch of questionable teams. They may only get 4 bids. Even then, that would require both Clemson and Maryland to continue to rack up wins. 5 bids??? Someone else would have to spring an upset.

Duke, Sag #1, 1st in conference at 10-0,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Marquette, Wisconsin, UNC
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Pitt (their only loss)
3P% - 39.3%, Reb. Margin = +1.0 , FT 68.8%, FG 47.8%, Opp. FG 42.9% –
This is a small-ball Duke team that actually played great interior defense against UNC in their biggest test of the season. I think the 1-point loss to Pitt in OT is just an example of how a small-ball team can get destroyed on the boards (49-31) and end up losing to a less-talented team. DeMarcus Nelson (15.3) and Kyle Singer (14.3) lead the team in scoring and both shoot around 40% for three. Obviously, this is a dangerous team but I don’t see how they could win the whole tournament with virtually no inside presence. This would require playing 6 near-perfect games, which isn’t going to happen.

UNC, Sag #4, 2nd in conference at 9-2,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Ohio St., Kent St., Kentucky (not a tough sched)
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Maryland, Duke (their only losses)
3P% - 36.2%, Reb. Margin = +11.4 , FT 75.7%, FG 47.9%, Opp. FG 42.3% –
Super-talented, this team should be a contender. They’ve got Tyler Hansborough (22.8 ppg, 10.6 reb) and a couple of sweet guards in Wayne Ellington (16.6 ppg, 39.8% 3p) and Ty Lawson (13.6ppg, 5.7 assists). The Tar Heels are a bit banged up at the moment, but if Lawson can get back to 100% for March they should be a dangerous team.

Clemson, Sag #23, 3rd in conference at 7-4,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Purdue (before they were good), Alabama, Miss St. Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Ole Miss, Charlotte, Miami(FL)
3P% - 39.7%, Reb. Margin = +4.5 , FT 63%, FG 46.7%, Opp. FG 43.1% –
These guys have been choke artists the last two seasons, starting out the season real hot then losing tons of ACC games. They’ve been stuck in the NIT the last seasons, and this year it looks like they finally could make the big dance. Fact I didn’t know: Rick Barnes (texas) was their last coach to take them to the NCAA Tourney (back in 1997). Their best player is KC Rivers, a 6-5 G/F who averages 15.6 ppg, 6.8 reb, and shoots a blistering 43.6% from 3-point land. Actually, 3 of their top 4 scorers all shoot 3s and shoot over 41%. They beat Purdue early on but this was way before Purdue found its current rotation of freshmen and sophomores.

Maryland, Sag #52, 3rd in conference at 7-4,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Illinois, UNC
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: UCLA, Missouri, VCU, OHIO UNIVERSITY (BOBCATS), AMERICAN
3P% - 33.3%, Reb. Margin = +2.7 , FT 71.3%, FG 46.1%, Opp. FG 38.5% –
These guys went through a real rough period in out-of-conference play, suffering home losses to Ohio University (bobcats) and American. Plus, they also lost to VCU (the team that beat Duke in the tourney last year) as well as Missouri. They’ve been playing much better in the ACC season, including a victory over UNC. However, these guys scare me with their inconsistency and they absolutely burned me last year in the tourney by losing to Butler in the 2nd round. Maybe they’ll have some revenge going on this year. Their best player this year is a 6-5 guard, General Greivis Vasquez, who average 17.3ppg, 6.8 assists, and 4.3 turnovers (yowsers). They still have a big front line in two 6-8 forwards, Gist (16.1ppg, 7.9 reb, 2.3 blocks) and Osby (11.8 ppg, 7 reb, 2.3 blocks).

Wake Forest, Sag #66, 5th in conference at 5-5,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Iowa, BYU, So. Florida
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Charlotte, Vanderbilt, Georgia, Boston College (by 30?!?)
3P% - 32.0%, Reb. Margin = +0.6 , FT 66.3%, FG 43.6%, Opp. FG 42.0% –
These guys really stink in terms of schedule and in terms of statistics and I refuse to waste any more time with them.

NC State, Sag #82, 9th in conference at 4-7,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Villanova, Cincy, S. Carolina
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: New Orleans (not the hornets), East Carolina, Mich. St., Georgia Tech
3P% - 34.6%, Reb. Margin = -0.9 , FT 70.4%, FG 45.9%, Opp. FG 42.1% –
These guys really stink in terms of schedule and in terms of statistics and I refuse to waste any more time with them.

Miami (FL), Sag #44, 10th in conference at 3-6,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: VCU, Miss St., Providence, Clemson
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Winthrop, Boston Coll, Wake,
3P% - 39.2%, Reb. Margin = +4.9 , FT 72.5%, FG 44.0%, Opp. FG 40.3% –
These guys started 12-0 with a relatively easy schedule, lost to Winthrop, and then suddenly stunk it up in ACC season. Obviously, they need to rack up a bunch of more ACC wins because I think its really hard to get into the tourney (if not impossible) if they finish well below .500 in their conference. They have some decent wins, so their profile seems better than the teams ahead of them. They have a relatively balanced attack but their best 2 players appear to be guards Jack McClinton (15.9ppg, 43.5% 3P%), and James Dews (10.8ppg, 40.4% 3p%).

Gerald Green's Cupcake Dunk

This is my favorite dunk of the 2008 dunk competition, performed by Gerald Green of the Minnesota Timberwolves. He blows a candle out on a cupcake while dunking! The creativity is just off the charts!

Friday's Hero: The Swedish Chef

A man that inspired me to be a high end chef

Cheers and Jeers: Red Velvet Edition

Ingredients:

• 3 cl Gin
• 1 cl Pisang Ambon
• 7 cl Sprite
• 1 cl Lime juice
• 1/2 cl Grenadine

There's been a few calls from the peanut gallery to have Cheers and Jeers happier. So this week's version is a version of fluffy, happy, floppy, bunnies. Yep sunshine and skittles are shooting out of C&J's collective ass its so happy. So I have to say that I'm surprised, shocked and happy about the trading in the NBA. Usually the average NBA GM sits on in his office contemplating how to use the light switch or what type of turkey sandwich he wants. Year after year the big trade deadline passes with a whimper instead of bang. Not this year. GMs are trying to get rid of their superstars faster than Paris Hilton with her crabs. Sure there's a certain amount of irony that Devean George was still in the league I mean stopped the Big Kidd trade but I have faith now something equally wacky will happen. One can only hope that one of them will lead to the Bill Walton v. Shaq jousting contest.

(h/t Deadspin)

Cheers: In the category of local boy does good Northeastern Ohio native Kelly Pavlik knocked out the previously unbeaten and probably best pound for pound boxer in the country (Jermain Taylor). Well the two are matching up again on Saturday. Go Pavlik!

Cheers: To the upcoming NBA all-star game. I stand by my belief that the NBA all-star game is the best of the various major sport all-star games. I mean who doesn't enjoy 300 point games? Seriously.....

Cheers: To Congress trying to show that laws aren't just for the little people . Although on the downer side our law department tells me using blogger privaledge does not grant immunity but it does get me a free juicy-juice

Cheers: To Cookie Monster endorsing vegetables. Finally a sign that our nation's obesity epidemic may be beaten back.


And your C&J gal of the week ...... is Heather Christiansen. Remember sexy redheads are our nation's greatest natural resource (far more important than kids or oil)

Congrats to Uno

Congrats to Uno your new Dog Super Champion or whatever. (add joke about making the other dogs bitches here)

Mighty Mailbag

Well with a little down time between sports I figured it was time to sort through ye old fan mailbag thats been sitting in my inbox, mailbox, floor for a few weeks now. So without further ado....its mailtime.


Mighty, you're an adventuresome guy. What sport do you find the most dangerous?
-I.C. Weiner

This is a toughie. Tops on the list is probably great white shark headbutting but thats more of an Australian thing. Of sports played legally in the US I have to go with hockey. Yes there's lots of dangerous thing that happen in football or mixed marshall arts but nothing seems quit as scary as having your throat slashed by a razor sharp blade as what happened to Zednik. Fortunately for him after his teammate accidently got him with an iceskate he had the ability to skate off the ice and into the ICU. Feel better buddy....

Will there be any big NBA trades that shake the landscape?
- Bjorn Liar, JD


Probably not. Jason Kidd, Ron Artest, Mike Miller , anybody on the Knicks/Portland/Redskins could be traded in the next 2 odd weeks before the NBA deadline. However given the difficulty in making the cap work, the conservative nature of most NBA GMs and the fact that most teams are unwilling to sell their stars for pennies on the dollar (ahem Memphis) trades like that rarely happen. I wouldn't be surprised though if smaller names get traded around to bolster some playoff bound teams benches.

Are there any darkhorses your willing to lay your neck out for yet for March Madness?
-Picov Andropov

My neck , no. Its an integral part of my plan for completing my dissertation. Also most nonessential organs, but thats only to pay the rent. Hmm darkhorses now is really putting my neck out but under the radar look out for Purdue, Washington State and UConn. All seem to be peaking at the right time. If they get good draws look for any of them in the Final 4 (and some bookie holding Colonel's money.

Is there any reason to pay attention to Roger Clemens on Capital Hill tomorrow?
-Erasmus B. Dragon

No. This has been another episode in simple answers for simple questions.

What's the craziest thing you've read today?
-Paige Turner

Definitely this. In fact probably of the year. Ah great moments in the blogosphere..

UEFA Champions League: Knockout Round Preview

For the first time since we talked about the FIFA World Cup back in the summer of 2006, the BSD blog is back at it, giving you a preview of the 2007-2008 UEFA Champions League Knockout Round!

This column is borne out of a) my growing interest in European soccer (hat tip to my Greek cousin Jake on that one) and b) my disenfranchisement from Major League Baseball. In any event, this is my first soccer column – one of many as these teams make a run at the Champions League title – and I hope you enjoy it. And if you don’t, well, I’ll let you know where I live so you can come over to kiss my ass.

Background:

32 teams split among eight groups kicked off this year’s tournament back in mid-September. Playing six games each over the span of three months, the top two teams from each group survived and qualified for the Knockout Round. Now, each team will play a home-and-home series against their opponent. Winners in this round advance to the quarterfinals, played later next month.

Matchups:

Porto @ Schalke

Porto is Portugal’s top club team and a favorite in this matchup. They’re cruising at home and traditionally one of the hardest teams to beat in European tournaments. Schalke is currently ranked fifth in Germany’s Bundesliga and the only German team to survive group play. More on that in a moment...

Real Madrid @ Roma

Real Madrid, Spain’s top club team and currently ranked first in the Primera standings, is favored against the second-ranked Serie A team, Roma. Real Madrid is having a great season this year.

Chelsea @ Olympiakos

Chelsea is currently ranked third in the English Premier League, is a perennial international powerhouse, and a heavy favorite to beat Greece’s only entrant into this year’s Championship. Olympiakos, Greece’s most successful club, is ranked second in its national Super League, and pulled off a stunning coup in group play to make it out in a first-place tie with the aforementioned Real Madrid. Olympiakos’s surprise finish in group play led to the ouster of Bremen, Germany’s second-best team, and leaves the German faithful with only one team to root for. Although it seems quite likely that Chelsea will handle Olympiakos, the Greek squad will need outstanding efforts and lots of scoring from forwards Darko Kovacevic and Lomana LuaLua.

Inter. Milan @ Liverpool

Liverpool was last year’s Champions League runner-up and is facing Italy’s top-ranked Inter. Milan squad. Although Inter is a slight favorite in this matchup (on the basis of how well they’re playing this year) people are not discounting Liverpool, even though they are a struggling sixth-place team in the Premiership. As anyone who follows the Reds knows, they consistently struggle at home and yet somehow shine in European matches.

Barcelona @ Celtic

Celtic is currently in second place in the Scottish Premier League and is Scotland’s only participant in the Knockout Round, as the first-place Rangers lost out to Barcelona in group play. However, a chance at Scottish-style vengeance seems out of the question as Barcelona (second place in Spanish Primera) will be too tough a test. Barcelona is heavily favored based on their reputation, quality of team, and experience in European play.

Manchester United @ Lyon

Most Americans are familiar with Manchester United. ManU is, after all, the most well-known sports team in the world, with the broadest global reach. Although they suffered a humiliating home loss to intra-city rival Manchester City in Premiership play yesterday, they are still in second place. Lyon is the top team in France’s Ligue 1 Championnat but they are a team on the downswing. ManU should handle this foe easily.

Sevilla @ Fenerbahçe

Sevilla was Europe’s top club last season but is struggling to match last year’s success. Consequently, they’re only in seventh place in the Primera. Nevertheless, they’re still a contender against the Turkish Süper Lig second place team, Fenerbahçe (pronounced “Fen-Ner-Bah-Chay”). Sevilla is expected to handle Turkey’s best shot.

AC Milan @ Arsenal

This is the most significant set of games in the Knockout Round. AC Milan might only be in fifth place in Serie A but they are the defending Champions League champions. They are favored in this contest, credited for last year’s run to the title, as well as the fact that they have last year’s footballer of the year, Brazilian superstar Kaká. Notwithstanding Arsenal’s first place ranking in the Premiership, this knockdown, drag-out fight will most likely reveal Milan’s strength in European match play. Should be a doozy!

Links:

In case reading this preview got you curious to learn more about the tournament, the teams, or their national competitions, click on these links below.

UEFA Champions League, England – Premier League Standings, France – Ligue 1 Standings, Germany – Bundesliga Standings, Greece – Super League Standings, Italy – Serie A Standings, Portugal – Liga Standings, Scotland – Premier League Standings, Spain – Primera División Standings, Turkey – Süper Lig Standings

Big-12 and Potluck - Facts, Stats, and Attempted Analysis

It’s that time of the year when I shift full-throttle into NCAA coverage… I’m doing some different conference previews again, but this week I’m going to cover some of the Big-12 and also some random other teams. Also, if anyone is curious, this is the schedule of conferences I’m shooting for from here on out:
Week of 2/18- ACC
Week of 2/25 – Atlantic 10 (currently projected as having 4 tourney bids)
Week of 3/3 – MVC / Big-East
Week of 3/10 – PAC-10

After looking through the analysis I did last year, for the PAC-10, the ACC, the MVC, and the SEC, it appeared more important in hindsight that rebounding margin was more of a driving factor for success (especially for the MVC, where the sweet 16 teams the last 2 years had healthier rebounding margins). I still don’t know if there is any one driving factor for the bigger conference teams, because in the end, it’s only one sloppy game that can get you eliminated. So, for this year, I’m going to pay more attention for the mid-majors to their rebounding margins, as it seems like it’s more of a perquisite to hanging with the big boys.

Kansas, Sag #3, 1st in conference at 8-1,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Arizona, USC,
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Kansas State (their only loss)
3P% - 38.2%, Reb. Margin = +7.2 , FT 69%, FG 51.3%, Opp. FG 38.4% –
Obviously, Kansas is very talented and the question with them is just how far they can go in the Tournament. A more important question may be whether their coach can actually get them to the Final 4. This team has a very balanced scoring attack with 4 players averaging between 12 and 13 ppg.

Kansas State, Sag #24, 2nd in conference at 7-1,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: California, Kansas
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: George Mason, Xavier, Missouri
3P% - 33.5%, Reb. Margin = +9.4, FT 66.6%, FG 44.6%, Opp. FG 40.1% –
The focus on this team is their super-freshman, Michael Beasley. He’s 6-9, and is averaging a ridiculous 25ppg and 12 rebounds per game. They didn’t play great during the non-conference schedule, but they at least did pick up that win against Kansas which shows that they have potential.

Texas, Sag #13, 3rd in conference at 6-2,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Tennessee, UCLA, St. Mary’s,
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Mich. St., Wisconsin, Missouri
3P% - 39.0%, Reb. Margin = +3.3, FT 68.6%, FG 46%, Opp. FG 39.9% –
They have two really good smaller guards – in DJ Augustin and AJ Abrams. No Kevin Durant this year, though the team has been playing more consistently than they ever did last year. They actually are a little bit smaller on the inside but they have 3 solid victories over top teams in their non-conference slate.

Texas A&M, Sag #19, 4th in conference at 6-3,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Washington, Ohio St.
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Arizona, Texas Tech
3P% - 37.4%, Reb. Margin = +9.4, FT 62.8%, FG 48.8%, Opp. FG 37.9% –
Another team with a very balanced scoring attack… their top 6 players all average between 8 and 13ppg. They are very good at rebounding for some reason, but their top rebounder, freshman center DeAndre Jordan, only shoots 42% from the free throw line… but 65% from the field. He’s 7 feet tall, so I’m guessing most of his shots are putbacks and dunks.

Baylor, Sag #31, 5th in conference at 5-3,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Notre Dame, Texas A&M
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Arkansas, Wash St.
3P% - 38.6%, Reb. Margin = +1.2, FT 74.1%, FG 45.9%, Opp. FG 41.4% –
I’m happy for Baylor that they have become good so quickly after they had some real problems a few years ago… they beat Texas A&M in an insane 5-OT game not long ago.

Oklahoma, Sag #41, 6th in conference at 3-5,
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Arkansas, Gonzaga, W. Virginia
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Memphis, USC, Stephen F. Austin (ouch!)
3P% - 34.7%, Reb. Margin = +3.5, FT 67.4%, FG 45.8%, Opp. FG 40.1% –
Their 2nd-leading scorer, Longar Longar, just went down with an injury and will be out for a while meaning that these guys may not make the tournament. Their top scorer is a freshman, Blake Griffin, who averages 15 PPG, and 8.5 rpg.

Potluck time!… each of the following teams come from conferences which are not worth the time to review in their entirety… so I’m just throwing them in here with the Big 12.

Memphis, Sag #2, 1st in conference at 9-0, (undefeated – 23-0)
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Oklahoma, Uconn, USC, Georgetown, Arizona, Gonzaga
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: No losses so far
3P% - 34.2%, Reb. Margin = +8.5 , FT 58.4%, FG 46.4%, Opp. FG 37.0% –
They are playing Tennessee on 2/23, so they do have one tough game left, in a rare late-season non-conference game… they have super-frosh Derrick Rose (14ppg), last year’s super-frosh Chris Douglas-Roberts (16.7ppg, 53.8% FG%). They have two 6-9 forwards (Dozier, Dorsey) who average 7 and 11 rebounds respectively. If they actually do finish the season undefeated, it will be very tough to figure out what kind of team can beat them in the tournament. Their closest loss so far was a 4-point loss to USC, in an ugly slugfest where Memphis shot 37% from the field, but USC shot only 29% ! If anything, I would assume that their 58% FT shooting percentage could be their undoing in a close game in the tourney.

Butler, Sag #25, 1st in conference at 10-2, 21-2
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Ohio St., Florida St., Va. Tech
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Wright St., Cleve St. (that’s it, both in-conference)
3P% - 37.8%, Reb. Margin = -0.6, FT 76%, FG 44.9%, Opp. FG 44.8% –
Butler made the sweet 16 last year, and they have the same group of guys this year including AJ Graves (13.9ppg, 34.7% 3P%) and Pete Campbell (11.4ppg, 45.3% 3P%). Just like last year, this team has a glaring weakness in that they are not good at rebounding. That was a main reason I doubted them last year, but they proved me wrong in getting to the Sweet 16. This year, they could be getting a very favorable seed in the tourney. They still are playing Drake (only have 1 loss) in the upcoming Bracket Buster, which should be a key test before the tournament.

St. Mary’s, Sag #22, 1st in conference at 7-1, 20-3
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Drake, Oregon, Gonzaga
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: So. Illinois, Texas, San Diego
3P% - 35.8%, Reb. Margin = +4.4 , FT 65.9%, FG 47.2%, Opp. FG 41.0% –
This team has been solid all season and it will be really interesting to see what kind of seed they get. They have two great wins over Drake (their only loss) and over Oregon. Their top scorer is a PG, Patrick Mills, but he tends to turn the ball over a lot (3.8 assist, 3 TO per game). They do have two big men, one who is a 7-footer (Omar Samhan) and a 6-7 forward who average 7.8 and 9.2 rebounds per game.

Gonzaga, Sag #28, 1st in conference at 7-1, 18-6
Non-conference wins & key conference wins: Va. Tech, Uconn, St. Joe’s
Non-conference losses & key conference losses: Texas Tech, Wash St., Oklahoma,
3P% - 37.4%, Reb. Margin = +5.5 , FT 71.2%, FG 48.2%, Opp. FG 39.2% –
6-11 Josh Heytvelt is still getting back into form after returning mid-way through the season, so Gonzaga still may play even better as the season progresses. 6-5 Matt Bouldin, a guard, has been their leading scorer but is extremely inconsistent, including 0 points against Wash St, and only scoring 6 points against Memphis. I’ve always really liked Jeremy Pargo, who’s older brother made the NBA. He’s averaging 11.8 ppg, but 6.4 assists per game. The only concern is that Pargo, who shot 37% from 3-point land last year, is only shooting 26% this year.

Cheers and Jeers: Death from Above Edition

Ingredients
1 oz Rum
1 oz Gin
3 oz Coca-Cola
2 parts Hate

Its come to my attention that the hateometer has been running high lately. The demise of the Patriots was met first with shock but quickly the shock was replaced by an outpouring of death threats and hategasm. So why should the big shots have fun with all the hate. I mean why should Bill O'Reilly any old douchebag just randomly be allowed to express their hatred of things when I can't. I have a much better record of insane hate filled diatribes. As my dad always says "Never let your morals keep you from doing what's right". And punching Dick Vitale in the nuts feels right. Oh and if don't think Vitale should punched in the nuts allow me to quote Socrates "Those that doubt me suck dick by choice"

Bill Belichek
Let me be clear I've known Burmese Junta members that deserve to die on punji sticks less than Bill Belichek. Oh no you lost a Super Bowl so you need to go throw a hissy fit. Not only do you pull a Randy Moss and leave early, but then you also mumbled away to your team instead of being you know the head coach, before taking a dump on the media (actually I don't have a problem with that one). When you made that pact with Satan for your soul did he also get your honor, dignity, morals,etc,etc such that it left you without a personality or is it just that your experiments with botox to hide facial expressions left you dead inside? And I don't want to hear about life outside of football Mumbles is a decent guy. He has no life outside of football. It's like saying fancy Raman is tasty. It doesn't fucking exist. Listen up Bill, you've proven you know your strategies , just do the rest of a favor and commit Sepku for being a 3 year old girl over only going 18-1.

Duke
I hate a lot of things in this world: clowns, ninja clowns, bacon wrapped hot dogs, but few things drive me up the wall as much Duke. First and foremost anyone ever associated with that school are fuckwads. Snotty, whiny, insecure, aristocratic, douchebags covers about 99% of the Duke population. The other 1% are the Duke basketball players who deserve to be raped by mountain goats. Nothing personal guys but I'm just saying that Dick Vitale's yearly deep throating of such an average team (for those keeping score Duke hasn't gotten out of the sweet 16 since the US was you know liked) means that it should be a national priority to force Duke''s players, player's families, their fans and their alumni into a Jimmy Fallon movie marathon.

Welcome to Hell Dookies

Punxsutawney Phil
Because your such a pussy that you can't confront your own shadow, I have to deal with 6 more shitty weeks of grey soul crushing winter. Fuck you. I don't give a shit that you're groundhog. If you can't fix this fucking weather we're going to find another rodent that can.

Mit Romney
I'm glad your campaign crashed and burned. You had to spend 1.4 million dollars per delegate. I bet I could run a Fussilli statue of Ed Harris and get better results. You know why Mit, because my Kraft Macaroni and Cheese seems more natural. Yeah everyone is totally going to buy the Massachusetts governor did a 180 in 3.4 seconds to become the most bestest conservative ever. You couldn't even quit without being a fucktard. Yeah you quiting is helping defeat Osama. Go choke on a dick.

US Senate
Speaking of no talent ass clowns. After all this time of taking it on the chin and letting person after person commit perjury, felonies and more generally taking dumps on the constitution now your going to man up and stop the evil forces of Roger Goodell and Roger Clemens. I can totally see how the NFL shreds records its something to stand up to but lets say the CIA shreds records well thats just a minor thing. You guys really think this bullshit will stop voters from hating your sorry asses? There's a reason that herpes has a higher approval rating.


Clowns
They're still dangerous. Don't be fooled. If a Clown had half a chance it would kill you and steal your spouse or significant other.

Jessica Alba
You think you can make up for your pregnancy by posing nude? Ok fine you can but no more late night calls from you. Ok maybe late night calls but I'm not making you waffles. And that's final....

You Can Have Him, Sweatervest!!!

After coming home from being on assignment as a Buffalo Soldier in the Bay of Pigs 2 training ground, I noticed that Terrelle "I spell my name like a girl" Pryor had announced a press conference to say which of the schools he had picked. Then after stepping out of my rhum induced haze, I saw that Pryor had started a press conference to announce that he had no announcement. This kid is only 18 years old and already his prima donna attitude reeks. He might be the second coming of Joseph Smith but come on, isn't the media kinda overblowing this kid. He could break his leg or go down the way of Claussen at Notre Dame and just not play that well. When ESPN analysts are writing that the legacy of Michigan football rests on whether this kid signs there, it is pretty pathetic.

Sure I would be happy if Pryor came to UM. He seems like a great athlete who will probably play well in RichRod's system. But the attitude definately has to go. Maybe you should prove something before having a press conference to announce that you haven't made up your mind. His attitude definately reeks of a type of player that probably would not be the greatest person for a leader. UM signed a dual threat QB yesterday in Justin Feagin. Like Pat White, he isn't that highly touted. If they use him plus the drop back QB that they already have in Steven Threet, I will be happy. It seemed to work for Florida, while they were transitioning into the spread offense.

OSU, Oregon or wherever else can have Pryor. I am sure that he will feel the need to have a posse around him, be caught on the side of the road with flak jackets and grenades.

Steve Kerr is Dumb - NBA Mid-season Report

Steve Kerr is dumb. Really dumb! He just traded Shawn Marion for Shaquille O'Neal. In the year 2008. When Shaq is barely healthy. When Shaq is due $20 million for TWO MORE SEASONS! Suddenly, Steve Kerr went from the guy who at last year's draft, was trading away draft picks and players for money (about $400,000 for a 2nd round pick)... to now deciding to spend almost $50 million to watch Shaq retire in a Phoenix Suns uniform.

I've been racking my brain trying to think of why he's doing this. Maybe he saw the Lakers get a 7-footer last week (Pau Gasol) so he thought - "Hey, I can top you. It's Shaq-fu time!" Actually, a more plausible theory is that he has no confidence in signing Shawn Marion this summer (he has a player option and can opt out). So Steve Kerr thought to himself: "Wait a minute, I either let Marion walk, or I get something for him now!"

There are a few flaws with his thinking though in the NBA:
1) If Marion did in fact opt out, the Suns would have had an extra $16 million to spend in free agency due to Marion’s contract coming off the books. In the NBA, expiring contracts are desirable because it allows you to go after a new player. Or even two players.
2) “getting something for him now” – it’s a very flawed statement concerning Shaq. This isn’t the ‘90s version of Shaq. This isn’t the early 21st century version of Shaq. This is Shaq past-his-prime and most of America knows this, except Steve Kerr because he used to be a TV commentator.
3) The Suns had a much better chance of winning this season with Marion than with a useless Shaq.

See, this is why NBA teams should NOT hire TV commentators to be their GMs. Kerr played with Shaq. Maybe he'll also lure Jordan out of retirement, because he played with him too.

Now that I got that out of the way, it’s time for the rest of my NBA Mid-season report!

Surprise teams: Hornets, Blazers – Mighty covered the Hornets a couple weeks ago in his mid-season report, so I’ll tackle the Blazers. Without Oden, no one gave them a chance. Personally, I was excited for the addition of Channing Frye and the maturation of Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge. I was wrong about Frye, and had no idea how good Roy and Aldridge would be at this point. The real key has been the contributions of two guys who never attended college, 23-year old Travis Outlaw, and 21-year old Martell Webster. Plus, the Blazers have a great coach in Nate McMillan (used to play and coach Seattle).

Disappointing team: Chicago Bulls – Even if you were lukewarm on the team, I think it would have been hard to predict that they would be this bad. The coach is already fired, and the GM could be next if things don’t turn around. It’s really an odd collection of talent that just doesn’t work together. Nothing’s gone right for these guys and I really do hope they finally just suck it up and make a trade already and ship out some of their guys. They probably have more Small forwards than any other team in the league, or at least that’s what it seems like.

Intriguing team: Lakers – The starting center, Andrew Bynum, is due back in mid-March. Combine him with Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, and a split PG (Derek Fisher / Jordan Farmar) and it makes you wonder what the limit will be with these guys. Oh, and their coach is Phil Jackson. And Phil got a new hip in the offseason, so he won’t be afraid to get off the bench and yell a bit. I’m intrigued to see how this Gasol experiment works. Of course, in the West, any one can lose or win, but the Lakers are very intriguing right now.

Breakout players:
Jose Calderon, PG, Toronto – Has done an excellent job taking advantage of TJ Ford being out. He’s averaging almost 9 assists a game (and that includes the first part of the season when he was splitting time).
Rudy Gay, SF/SG, Memphis – 19.8 PPG, and 6 rebounds is pretty good considering he’s still only 21.
Beno Udrih, PG, Sacramento – Did a great job filling in for Mike Bibby. I think the funniest thing is the story of how Udrih made multiple GMs (San Antonio and Minnesota) angry this offseason. You see, the San Antonio Spurs outright traded him for a PROTECTED 2nd round pick to the Timberwolves, because the Spurs didn’t think he was progressing and didn’t think they needed another PG. How does Kevin McHale guarantee the greatest return for his team? He immediately waives Udrih! Udrih then signed with Sacramento the next day, and played great (including six 20-point plus outbursts, 41% for 3Pointers). Meanwhile, the Spurs got into trouble at PG and had to recently sign Damon Stoudamire, now that Tony Parker got injured. I’m sure both Kevin McHale and the Spurs’ GM (KC Buford) are regretting their decisions to ship Udrih all over the place.

Finals Outlook: Foggy
With the Western Conference in an unparalled bunching formation, where only FIVE games separates 1-8, and SIX AND A HALF separate 1-10. Think about that for a moment. It’s absolutely unbelievable. Plus, the Western Conference is still the (arguably) better and deeper conference. It really means that anyone can miss the playoffs in the West and anyone (1-8) can win the whole damn thing. It’s gonna be a fun ride!

Super Tuesday Reminder

Those of you in a Super Tuesday state, don't forget to vote.

Personally I'm undecided. Its a toss up between Kodos or the person that Scarlett Johansson supports. Definitely one of the two....

One Last Time: FTB

On August 22nd, 2007, I said this:

“The Giants will stink this year because, between injuries, holdouts, and an inept front office, they lack the talent it takes to win football games. But my negativity, hatred, shame, and disgust for my hometown team are gone. No more Giant self-loathing. I am dedicating myself to rooting for this team and I hope the G-Men use Tiki’s words as motivation.”

Too bad I wasn’t able to stay true to my word. The Giants surprised the hell out of me, the way I’m sure they surprised most people, including the New England Patriots. Not for a minute do I believe that my analysis of the team was wrong. They never should’ve beaten Dallas. They never should’ve beaten Green Bay. They certainly never should’ve beaten New England. But that’s all behind us now. They won the Super Bowl and I couldn’t be happier.

But you know what I’m happiest about? That I don’t have to think about the acronym “FTB” any longer. He wants to tell us that he’s happy in retirement and doesn’t have any regrets about not being on the team this year? Sure, I’ll buy that. The feeling is mutual...totally and completely mutual.

Have fun running around in women’s underwear, you worthless loser. FTB over and out.

Unbelievable

Holy crap. Holy crap. HOLY CRAP.
Updated (now with analysis)

MVP: Gotta give it to Eli. Not to say Eli dominated or was mistake free (the Adelius Thomas took 15 years off our New York fans) but I can't give the award to the group. The Eli shows he has muscles and speed as he pulled a Houdini before launching the ball and an amazing catch gets made play. That was the game changer. Look QB gets the blame, he should get the credit. He led the G-Men on a two minute drill to win the game. He out-Brady'd Brady. Plus after the beating Eli took, nice to see him rise above and put together a great playoff run.

Best Part: Oh so many great parts. The part that New England can't say they were robbed or it was a fluke or something. Giants physically beat them up. Brady got knocked around like I haven't seen this season. The o-line kept Manning pretty up right despite a running game that wasn't exactly dominating. Or maybe that Tiki was sitting at home and Shockey was shunned to the booze section of the stadium. But probably the most delicious (well outside of Simmons upcoming article) was Belichek trying to leave before the game was over. Just wonderful.

Most Surprising Part: I honestly expected given the two weeks off that the Pats coaching staff would get the better of the Giants. However I thought the Giants D-Coordinator did an outstanding job and the Giants had only one turnover on a fairly fluke play (Dear Steve Smith you had a great rookie year but don't bat the ball into the air) so outside of shutting down Plaxico the Giants offense didn't beat itself. Hats off to the Giants staff.....

The What If Moment: Again a lot of points but the one that stands in my mind was Belichek going for it on 4rth and 13 instead of going for the long field goal. What if they made that field goal? Anyone else wonder if that choice is made if Vinatieri is there? The points left on the board was the difference between a loss and a tie. Just saying....

Other Questions
-Will this go down as one of the greatest upsets or one of the greatest chokejobs?

- So how many people had Plaxico pulling a Broadway Joe? Or Eli winning the MVP when that other Manning watched from above ? Or the Pats held to 14 points. And Brady was incredulous over the 17 points prediction. HA

-Anyone want to bet that Simmons will compare this loss to Buckner?

- Who would've been more annoying the '72 Dolphins or this year's Pats over an undefeated season?

- Did Brady's ankle affect the outcome?

- So SuperBowl hangover for the Pats next year? Not going to bet on it but interesting to see how they respond....

--Will Eli continue to play like this next year?

-- Kosher Hot Dogs. I have them beating the Bratwurst straight up and defy anyone to prove it otherwise....

Cheers and Jeers: Mister Wu Edition

Ingredients:

• 1 oz Vodka
• 2 oz Bourbon
• 3 oz Lemon-lime soda
• 1 dash Orange juice

As a professional commentator, blogger, columnist and Howie Long impersonator I figured it was incumbent upon me to try to make some predictions for the Super Bowl . However any idiot can make random predictions. It takes real genius and 4 mojitos (and yes I realize its only 1 in the afternoon) to come up with not only WHAT will happen but WHEN it will happen.

9:00 AM Chris Wallace of Fox Sunday's News and Blame Liberals Show is joined by several varieties of conservative pontificators as well Terry Bradshow and Jimmy Johnson. After a half hour of discussions its agreed that a loss by New England will be a sign that the Democrats hate America. Any win by New England will be a sign that John Mccain is Ronald Reagan reincarnated.

11:00 AM Millions of viewers will be driven insane when they mistakenly flip on Ryan Seacrest trying to discuss football. Our nation's healthcare system will be once again be destroyed by Hollywood.

1:00 PM Gutsy will make the fatal mistake of inviting a Duke fan to his Super Bowl party. There are few truisms in the world: 1) never get in a land war in Asia, 2) never get in with Sicilian when death is on the line and 3) Duke fans are the functional equivalent of locusts but with less hygiene.

3:00 PM Hour 345 of pre-game coverage. Bradshaw tries to run for freedom but is shot with a tranquilizer gun before he can escape.

4:30 Mighty begins the official start to the Super Bowl by the lighting of the grill and the 4 shots of Bourbon.

File photo of Mighty in quiet contemplation of how to make fire

4:32 Mighty decides that four shots of Bourbon was a big mistake

6:34 Kickoff. Hooray.

6:35 First Super Bowl Commercial. It's not funny. MJ sets fire to Boston in protest

6:43 First New England Touchdown. MJ introduces David Ortiz to his boomstick in protest

Listen up Papi, this is my Boomstick

7:00 Peter King wins a date with Tom Brady when he scalds Bill Simmons with scared upperclass whitey flavored coffee (I think its called Starbucks on the East Coast)

Title of Simmons and Kings new book

1:00 AM Game finally ends. Note there was no overtime. Just too many commercials and an interruption when Bradshaw gets loose from his cage. Final score New England 31 Giants 20


And with that a little cheering and jeering.....

Cheers: To Voting. Well not primary bullshit but for the 100 Sexiest Women at FHM

Cheers: To National Signing Day. For those that aren't aware about the subcultural that is College Football recruiting....lets just say it makes the NFL draft seem rational and sane. Thankfully it'll all be over on Wednesday. Person to watch is Terrel Pryor who tOSU and West Fucking Virginia North have been fighting over.

Jeers: To a nudist flight. Nothing personal against East Germans but I assume that flying is uncomfortable enough as is without having to see some old dudes junk.

Jeers: To NBA trades. Bitch all you want Kidd. You and your 20-30 odd million dollar a year contract are going to have a hard time moving. I swear 40% of all NBA coverage is on rumored trades. (FYI the other 40% is on NBA games and the final 20% is on the lack of quality Nacho Cheese at NBA arenas).


Sean Taylor Memorial Beatdown:
Goes to Kansas State beating in-state rival Kansas 84-75 thus breaking a 24 year old losing streak. Which is a long time according to most polls. Uber phenom Michael Beasley poured in 25 points as he has begun to solidify his case for the number 1 pick in next year's NBA draft.


And Your C&J gal of the week is Alessandra Ambrosio who likes Pink the color (not the singer)