Have you seen the commercials on ESPN? ESPN has a new show premiering in August. The last couple of days, my jaw just hit the floor when I saw the advertisements for this show. I knew this day was coming, but I, like most of America, have feared this day.
Stephen A. Smith has his own show.
[Pause for dramatic effect].
It’s called “Quite Frankly” which makes the show sound really peaceful, when in fact that’s not what it will be like at all. In fact, I don’t think Stephen A. Smith has ever used the phrase “Quite Frankly.” I think his main argument is like a circular madlib:
“C’mon! _____[full name] is clearly the best _____[noun] at _______ [action he does well]. Did you forget about how in _____[year] when he took his team on his _____ [body part]? NOBODY wants to _____[verb: tango or dance or mess] with _____[name] when it comes to ______[what he’s best at, from above] in the ______ [sport, fully prounced i.e. National Basketball Association].”
I’m expecting that the show will consist of Stephen A. Smith yelling at a cardboard picture cutout of Tony Kornheiser, and then Stephen A. Smith proclaiming himself the victor.
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5 comments:
I saw the commercial yesterday, too. My only hope is that, via this show, ESPN will corral Stephen A. to this time slot, and we can be a little safer watching SportsCenter.
Speaking of SC problems - I was watching last night and particularly enjoyed a NFL Live cut-in in which Trey Wingo and Sean Salisbury discussed Ricky Williams' re-introduction to the Dolphins. I like Salisbury. I think he's a very good analyst; he speaks relatively intelligently and he usually avoids the all-too-common hyperbole we see on TV. I just wish they'd cancel that miserable segment he does with John Clayton (who I also like when he's on his own) in which the two analysts yell at and insult each other for no other reason than they can.
I have to disagree on Salisbury. I think Salisbury has limited insights and in the past few years tends to go for the insults or banal pronouncements. I feel like John Clayton is always worried the others will give him a wedgie which is why he's out in Seattle. I'm a fan of Jaws. He does the best Xs and Os analysis.
Oh, don't get me wrong: Jaws is best in the business. Hands down.
I should add, re Stephen A: I saw the commercial again this morning. I noticed this time that, at the very end, he does a little jiggly dance as they're cutting away. It's absolutely hilarious - he's an even worse dance than he is a commentator.
Will this new show include a dance off between Smith and polka dancer extraordinaire Skip Bayless? Bayless has to have some skill cause apparently sports reporting isn't one of them.
I have no comment on Stephen A. Smith getting a show. It only further proves my point that George Bodenheimer (President of ESPN) is the biggest fucking moron in televsion right now. Where have you gone Roone Arledge?
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