Cheers and Jeers: Brown Eye Opener Edition

Ingredients:

• 1 oz Amaretto
• 1 oz Bailey's irish cream
• 1 oz Kahlua
• 1 oz Everclear
• 1 oz Butterscotch schnapps

Now all of us have made a dumb mistake now and again (Thinking the Mavs would win the NBA Championship, ordering Mac and Cheese instead of Mash Potatoes, having that last shot of tequila, etc). Most of us have made incredibly dumb, jaw dropping mistakes. I certainly have: touching a live British electrical socket with a metal rod, trying to keep sanity in grad school, running into a river taller than myself with a 40 lb backpack, having that last cup of everclear, setting a cinnamon bun on fire, screwing up Easy-Mac, etc.) Believe you me, I've even seen some ridiculously dumb moves (putting coleslaw into a wall, jumping off balconies, driving a truck into a building, letting someone who just turned 21 ride in a car, Kerry's campaign, etc). However, never in my 39 odd years of existence (note I'm bad at calculating my age) have I seen, heard, read something as preposterously, head in the brown eye, laugh out loud, idiotically stupid as Charlie Wang's signing of Rick DiPetro's to a 15 year contract. As one owner put it ""It means the owner is a moron," DiPetro just isn't that good and contracts that go for more than lets say more than a decade in a sport where you get hit by wooden sticks probably isn't a good idea. It's a move that screams for other free agents to stay away and for fans to start following other sports. Short of the NHL going belly up and all contracts being voided in the next 6 days, this may go down as the dumbest signing since China's 99 year loaning out of Hong Kong.

And now for a little cheering and cheering:

Cheers: To College Football this weekend. Great matchups. I'm told there are more games with two ranked teams than any other weekend in like 13 years which coincidentally is the last time Michigan beat Notre Dame in South Bend. Now after Michigan, Notre Dame doesn't face another ranked team/team that can field 11 players until the end of the season with USC (honestly Notre Dame might have one of the easiest schedules outside of Michigan and USC) So Wolverines its all on you (actually I should say its on Michael Hart- if Hart can gash some big runs Michigan should win) to stop a Notre Dame BCS bid. The other two games that will keep my interest is Auburn v. LSU (the winner of this game has gone to the SEC Championship 5 out of past 6 years) and USC v. Nebraska (a crushing loss could end Big 12 hopes for a big time BCS bowl).

Cheers: Jamie Laurinitis. AJ Hawk's replacement is quickly making a name for himself as he won the Big 10 defensive player of the week award. OSU is moving to suplant PSU as Linebacker U (that's a lot of U's) with its recent string of great linebackers. For those that are unaware Laurinitis is the son of Animal of Legion of Doom/Road Warriors fame (the greatest tag-team in the history of wrestling...possibly sports).

Jeers: To Tiger Woods losing at the World Match Championship. For some odd reason that I can't fathom Tiger just doesn't excel/dominate/engender awe in match play. One would think one on one other golfers would spend their time asking autographs but nope thats just not the case.

Cheers: To Jay-Z coming out of retirement. Thank goodness. I was up at night crying, thinking to myself "why oh why did such talent deprive the public of his gift" Then my prayers were answered. As Jay-Z himself said "It was the worst retirement in history,"

Jeers: To not eating your veggies. The FDA reported today "Don't Eat Bagged Spinach. It Might Kill you". Henceforth I'll stick with something safe...like deep fried twinkees.

Cheers and Jeers in the News:
After extensive MRIs it has been discovered that rushing Liriano back to Cheer and Jeer has not caused any structural damage.
-Twins' Organization