Week 1 – NFL Kickoff ‘Pickoff

As the NFL season begins, its back to my traditional format – picking the games based off of ridiculous, arbitrary reasons. I must say, Week 1 has typically been a terrible week for picking games the last few years. The reason for the uncertainty is that when the season starts off preconceived notions about many teams are shattered almost immediately. A lot of the games on this year’s Week 1 seem relatively simple, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I miss half (or more of) the games this week.

Manwich Matchup of the Week – Indy @ NY Giants – Quite the intriguing game, but it locked up “Manwich” status considering I have this game as my Super Bowl pick. It will be really interesting to see how well Indy runs the ball, and fantasy owners will be curious WHO is running the ball. Anyway, I guess I have to go with my super bowl pick, though I am tempted to pick the Giants, just so Indy will be extra motivated all season to get back to the Super Bowl to play the Giants and beat them. Pick: Indy

Upset of the week - San Diego @ Oakland – First start of the season for Philip "Running" Rivers is a late Monday night game in Oakland. I can’t go with Philip Rivers, as much as I like the guy because he’s essentially a rookie. Pick: Oakland

Miami @ Pitt – I wonder if old Miami coach, Dave “The Moustache” Wannstedt, currently the coach at Pitt, will show up to cheer against the Dolphins. Hines Ward is hobbled, Roethlisberger is out, which makes picking the road team a lote easier. Pick: Miami

Seattle @ Detroit – I was seriously close to picking Detroit. If offensive coordinator Mike Martz finds a way to put up lots of points by simply transferring the St. Louis offensive package, I will be really amazed. Pick: Seattle

Philly @ Houston – Houston just has no luck. The #1 pick, Super Mario Williams hasn’t looked great, RB D. Davis is out for the season, and then they were forced to sign RB Ron Dayne. Every time you think Dayne’s pathetic career is over, and it seems like Dayne can go back to getting fat and eating Twinkies, some other team ends up picking him up! I say, “let him have the twinkies!” Pick: Philly

NY Jets @ Tennessee – Who the hell is playing in this game? Is it Vince Young? Is it Chad Pennington? Is David Givens really on Tennessee? Is Al Toon on the Jets? Pick: Tennesee

NO @ Cleveland – As a Cleveland fan, this is one of the 6 designated weeks that I am picking the Browns. I’m sticking to the formula this year. I’m also hoping that the Browns do not create a superstar out of Reggie Bush. Pick: Cleveland

Denver @ St. Louis – Broncos GM Ted Sundquist finally acknowledged the pain and suffering he has inflicted on fantasy football owners the last 7 years: "With all due respect to the fantasy football people out there, I don't care who we have back there." That’s a real quote, found it on Yahoo. I guess he gets a lot of hate-mail. Pick: Denver

Cincy @ KC - This is another game that could have easily been the Manwich Matchup. I’m just going to go with the home team, and eliminate all other analysis. Pick: KC

Buffalo @ New England – Remember that game back in like 2003 when Buffalo beat the Patriots 31-0 to kick off the season? I don’t think that’s happening this year. Pick: New England

Baltimore @ Tampa – Two of the craziest coaches, Cobra Commander (Brian Billick), and Jon “Chucky” Gruden will be locked in an epic chess battle. I could see Gruden finding Billick’s hotel, and paying a high school band to play music at 3AM to ensure that Cobra Commander doesn’t get any restful sleep. A grumpy Cobra Commander does not usually make good decisions. Pick: Tampa

Atlanta @ CAR – Wow, this is a very important game in the NFC South, right off the bat. Steve Smith has been battling some sort of hamstring injury, but hopefully for CAR, its not a big deal. Pick: CAR

San Fran @ Arizona – It will be very interesting to see if Edgerrin James can actually gain some rushing yards behind the pathetic Arizona O-line. Pick: Arizona

Dallas @ Jacksonville – Another intriguing game where many reasons can be given for either team to win. As I said in my earlier preview article though, I just don’t respect Drew Bledsoe anymore. If he proves me wrong this week, I may reconsider, but for now, I’m holding on to my blind bias against him. Pick: Jacksonville

Chicago @ Green Bay – To ridicule Favre even more for coming back for an extra season on a crappy team, I’m going to also pick his interception total for each week. Pick: Chicago, and 3 Picks for Favre

Minnesota @ Washington – I think this could also be an intriguing game. If Washington had a more solid QB, I probably wouldn’t be intrigued. I just gave up on Brunell a while ago. I’m also assuming Portis is not healthy to play in this game, but I’m guessing Wasington will find a way. Minnesota rookie head coach, Brad Childress, takes the field. I was hoping to glean some info from my earlier article previewing the coaches, but all I said was that he had a good moustache. Pick: Washington

Past Years Stats - "I'm only mortal"
2005 – 160-96
Manwich Matchup: 10-7
Upset Special: 3-14 (That’s not a misprint)
2004 – 150-106
Manwich Matchup: 7-11 (I doubled the serving of Manwich one week)
Upset Special: 7-9