Week 4 - The Menacing Madden Curse

Please end the Madden covers now. EA sports should have a blank cover. Or Madden cooking up a "turducken" on Thanksgiving. I’m seriously scared for whatever football player gets on there next year. When will the madness end? Before someone gets seriously hurt, I say stop putting people on the cover.

But… if they choose to not end the curse, I’d love for them to make a new reality show called “Avoiding the Madden Curse”. Each week, they could show highlights of the person going through their normal life, and at any moment, the Madden Curse may strike! It would be captivating television. They could show Shaun Alexander going to the club, getting his drink on, stumbling down the stairs… but he says “no, I’m cool, didn’t hurt anything there!”

Anyways, onto the games…

Manwich Matchup of the Week
Seattle at Chicago – NFC Supremacy is on the line! Without Shaun Alexander, things may be very different. Madden curse, commence! Pick: Chicago

Upset of the week
San Francisco at Kansas City- I still don’t know what to make of KC’s home advantage with their crappy Huard QB brother. Pick: San Francisco

Arizona at Atlanta – I guess the Falcons were in awe of the rebirth of New Orleans. It’s like taking a mulligan for one week. Pick: Atlanta

Dallas at Tennessee – The Titans couldn’t even squeak one out against the Jets or the Dolphins. It may be a long season for Jeff Fisher. I think part of the problem is that he got rid of his beard, and that was the source of all of his strength. And, they are still coming out of salary cap hell. As for Dallas, I don’t for one minute believed that TO tried to kill himself. That’s about as likely as Optimus Prime actually being Jewish. Pick: Dallas

Indianapolis at N.Y. Jets – The Jets are 2-1, albeit wins over Buffalo and Tennessee. However, they almost beat New England, but I’m now starting to wonder how much that should even be worth at this point. Pick: Indy

Miami at Houston- This used to be my favorite matchup in the early-90s – the run ‘n shoot of Warren Moon, Lo White, and the 7 Dwarfs. Miami still had a productive Mark Clayton and Mark Duper to receive passes from Dan Marino. Sunday’s game won’t be quite as fun. I absolutely have no idea who will win this game, so I’ll go with the home team. Pick: Houston

Minnesota at Buffalo- Minnesota still looks pretty good, despite barely losing to Chicago. The easy schedule may allow the Vikings to hang around this season. Pick: Minnesota

New Orleans at Carolina- I still can’t tell if New Orleans is for real or not. I’m starting to believe, but it’s downright frightening. I still don’t understand how the defense is mostly the same personnel, but yet, the old coach Jim Haslett (who is a “defensive genius”), could not get anything going for the Saints. Maybe the difference in the Saints is that Drew Brees shoulder is fine, and he’s a huge upgrade over Aaron Brooks. I think my prediction of Aaron Brooks putting up lots of touchdowns this year has to be the single worst prediction I’ve ever made. Pick: New Orleans

San Diego at Baltimore- And suddenly, all the sportswriters are no longer talking about the return of the Ravens D. The storylines change so much in any given week. Pick: San Diego

Detroit at St. Louis – This might be one of the more interesting games of the week, with Martz returning to St. Louis as the offensive coordinator of the Lions. You think Martz has had this game circled on his calendar??? I’m expecting the Lions to pull out every trick play possible, including the HB option, two onside kicks, three punt fakes, and O-linemen lining up as Wide Receivers. Pick: St. Louis

Cleveland at Oakland – Courtesy to Laz who came up with this Futurama analogy: If anyone in the NFL could possibly be their own grandfather, it would be Coach Art Shell of the Raiders. The scary thought is that if this is true, it would confirm that he’s not only the dumbest coach in the league, but that Coach Shell doesn’t produce the same brainwaves as the rest of the human race, and that Coach Shell is the only one who can save us from a group of evil, flying, telekinetic brains. Pick: Cleveland

Jacksonville at Washington – This is yet another toss-up game! I’m destined to be below .500 this week. Pick: Washington

New England at Cincinnati – I think the Bungals are getting used to winning. Pick: Cincinnati

GB @ Philly – Ugghhh… what a bad Monday night game. Seriously. I tell you one thing, I will not turn this game on just to hear Favre get praised. Pick: Philly

Last Week: 9-5
Season: 25-21 (above .500! and for my next trick, I will make a coin appear behind this girl’s ear)
Manwich: (3-1 (Thank you Cincy, thank you Indy)
Upset of the Week: 0-3 (Picking the Lions was yet another mistake)