Bowl Predictions

Well the Bowl Season is almost upon us and as most of us will require help operating the tv remote in order to watch the games on New Years Day I thought it would be smart to start the Great Bowl Pickoff Challenge. Picking Bowl Games is much like predicting the weather, few people are good at it. I mean who knows how a team will show up after being off 30-50 days. Its like a different season. I think some seniors might be eligible for social security by the time the BCS Championship Fiesta Bowl Presented by Trojan Ford Microsoft blah blah blah. (Fucking Corporate Sponsors. Guess what just because of your insistent ads I'm not going to use Sugar, Oranges, Cheetos or Roses. I might buckle under and eat some tostitos. I mean what else would eat with all this dip?

Alright so here's the list of things to watch for Bowl Season (just select which applies to you)
Dec 31 Nevada v. Miami
This is the game you should be watching while preparing to head out wherever it is that your poisoning your liver/sacrificing bulls to Jupiter/ wearing funny hats. Why you ask? Because Miami (or the U as they say among the ex-convicts) is playing in Idaho. How great is that?
Pick: Miami

Jan 1
11 AM - Outback Bowl Penn State v. Tennessee
At this point in the morning you should very angry that sunlight exists/ cuddling with your significant other/ cuddling with your favorite stuffed animal/ cursing that asshole who turned on the tv to watch Penn State and Tennessee. I think the major story lines here at will Joe Pa man the sidelines on foot or some scooter and how many pies will the Tennessee coach eat during the game (over/under of 4). This game should be slow so you don't have to be fully cognizant yet.

Pick: Tennessee

1 PM - Capital One Bowl - Wisconsin v. Arkansas
At this point you should have rolled out of the bed/off the floor/dragged self out of bathroom and are now stationed in living room watching the tube. The capital one bowl I think is a good foreshadowing of the SEC v. Big 10 Championship Game on Jan 8. Arkansas' Coach McNutt is starting with his QB Dick. I couldn't make that up if I tried. On the Wisconsin side are very large farm boys that are playing for pride and bratwursts. According to Publius, Bratwursts are tasty and can be used to keep Jewish Vampires away.

Pick: Wisconsin.

5 PM - Rose Bowl - Trojans v. Wolverines
Well according to ABC the road to the Rose Bowl is paved with Trojans. I can only say I'm pretty angry I wasn't invited to this party. Nonetheless its a battle of the disgruntled. USC lost in a close match to its cross-city rival UCLA which gave away their shot at the championship. The Maize and Blue lost the BCS vote brought to you by Diebold. Which team(s) will show up? Will they take their anger out on the opposition or did they spend the time off sulking? Will Lloyd Carr perform his tribute to James Brown by singing "I'm Just a Sex Machine" at halftime or after the game? While enjoying this game you should be checking to make sure you have a light dinner/ making sure you've hidden the remote so no one can change the channel/ checking to make sure you're in the right city.

Pick: Wolverines

Jan 3 Sugar Bowl - Notre Dame v. LSU
I think the only question here is will LSU be sober enough to play the game. The Tigers are playing in the Superdome and have been home near Bourbon street for awhile now. That doesn't sound promising. Notre Dame better hope that LSU has had one too many drinks otherwise Charlie Weis' team will get crushed once again by a top 10 team

Pick: LSU Wins While Drunk

I'll save my analysis for TOSU v. Florida for next year. I just wanted to thank everyone for all their work and postings. It really is a joy to wake up or go to bed reading your guys analysis. I realize I might not express it but I certainly learn a ton from all of you. Happy and Healthy New Year to one and all!