Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Colonel Sanders Finger Lickin' Picks For All Degenerate Gamblers Out There - Week 15

Per The Colonel’s instructions, I have been designated as the guest who will pinch hit while he, in a clear dereliction of duty, swooshes down the slopes of Winter Park, Colorado. His troops have been left to die face down in the muck. But have no fear, Lieutenant Colonel MJ is here. Onto Week 15’s picks...

SF (+9.5) at SEA: SF. Seattle seems like a schizo team. Sure conventional wisdom says to pick them after a bad loss to Arizona but I don’t like that spread at all.

DAL (-3) at ATL: ATL. Not that the Cowbitches aren’t the better team, just that betting on road favorites is like playing with fire.

NYJ (+3) at MIN: NYJ. The Vikes, Sunday’s win notwithstanding, don’t impress me in the slightest. Coach Mangina seems to have his meaty finger on the pulse of his physical, aggressive, overachieving defense.

PHI (+5.5) at NYG: PHI. I have no faith in the Giants and, on top of their defensive injuries, they’ll be without three of their five starting O-linemen. So this is what it feels like to be a Browns fan...

CLE (+11) at BAL: BAL. Ugh, nobody wants to pick a Cobra victory but it looks like the Joes are mailing it in at this point.

HOU (+11.5) at NE: NE. I detest Belichick and I think the Patriots have been playing poorly all season but nobody puts Brady in a corner. This should be a blowout.

MIA (-1) at BUF: MIA. The Fish are playing well right now and Buffalo winning two in a row is about as likely as Hitman eating a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich while driving a car on Saturday morning.

PIT (NL) at CAR: PIT. The CAR can’t seem to get started. ‘Nuff said.

WAS (+9.5) at NO: WAS. I don’t know why but I feel like QB Jason Campbell back in an SEC state will invigorate the team. The Saints D doesn’t impress me all that much.

JAX (-3.5) at TEN: TEN. Can anyone really pick against the Titans right now? They’re on fire and I just hate picking the road favorites.

TB (+13) at CHI: CHI. The Bucs have scored something like 19 points in their last 3 games. Chicago’s D got touched up vs. St. Louis but I don’t see them giving up more than a couple of FG’s in this one.

DET (+5) at GB: GB. Both teams stink and I’m just sticking with the home team here.

DEN (-2.5) at AZ: DEN. I’m only doing this out of respect for Mike Shanahan. His team is overrated and injured but Shanahan’s brain can run circles around Denny Green’s.

KC (+8.5) at SD: SD. This game features the NFL’s best RB’s and its most overrated coaches. The Chargers are the best team in football right now and I trust them to win at home for a chance to really squeeze their grip on homefield throughout the playoffs.

STL (+2.5) at OAK: STL. I know the Rams have lost 7 of their last 8 but, come on, it’s the Raiders. How can you not take the points vs. Oakland?

CIN (+3) at IND: CIN. I have no faith in Indy right now. Their run D is atrocious and the Who Dey Bungals offense has been rolling like a boulder down a hill. The Bungals in the Jungle have more to play for right now. Also, I gotta throw a bone to my main man The Colonel for letting me be Lt. Col. for a week. That crack about letting your soldiers die face down in the muck? Just kidding, pal.

Last Week: 8-8
Total: 95-101-12 (More like the NFC than ever!)

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