Week 16 – It’s Time to be a Man and Put Pants on

I think the NFL should have some snappy motos for each week. I think that this week is where you really just have to be a man and put pants on. Many of the teams are still playoff eligible (at least mathematically), so all you can do is put your pants on, and try to beat the other team. On to the games…

Manwich Matchup of the week
New England at Jacksonville – The best road team in the AFC? The Pats. Meanwhile, the Jags are 6-1 at home. I’m anticipating some major coaching adjustments, because no teams other than San Diego and Tennessee seem to get on a role this year. Pick: Jacksonville

Upset of the Week-
Tennessee at Buffalo – While not the Manwich Matchup, this might be the Pot Luck Special of the Week. Buffalo is 7-7, and yet, I thought they were just as mediocre as usual. Their best wins were over Jacksonville and the Jets?, with a bad loss to Detroit. The Titans? Well, I had been telling everyone that they were trying to make a playoff run for 2007, but they are just so excited they might just make it this year. (NOTE: I don’t understand why the Titans are 4.5 point underdogs) Pick: Tennessee

Philly @ Dallas – I almost made this the Manwich, but I think AFC matchups take precedence over NFC matchups. I can’t wait to see which sucker team shells money out for Jeff Garcia next season. My money is on Oakland. The weird thing that most people don’t realize, is that Philly actually controls their own destiny in terms of winning the NFC East. Pick: Dallas

Minnesota @ GB- Two 6-8 teams who possibly can get a miracle to make the playoffs, but first, they have to have the desire to actually win a game. The NFL Network, it’s fantastic! Pick: GB

KC @ Oakland- Mathematically, KC is alive, but they would need a miracle to qualify with that 3-7 conference record. Pick: KC

Baltimore at Pittsburgh – Cobra Commander versus Sgt. Slaughter, round 2. I think that Sgt. Slaughter is going to rebound from the first, because hell, there’s no way Sgt. Slaughter is allowing another 27-0 beat down by the evil Ravens. Pick: Pitt

Carolina at Atlanta – No matter how much the Falcons stumble, they are still in the wildcard race, due to the patheticness of the NFC. Honestly, its like no one in the NFC can be manly and put pants on. I think an 8-8 playoff team is like someone trying to believe that capri pants are pants. Anyway, it’s kind of sad what happened to the CAR, with a ridiculous 4-games losing streak. Pick: Atl

Chicago at Detroit – The Bears have clinched homefield, the defense is banged up, what reason is there to even play hard? Pick: Detroit

Indianapolis at Houston – At least the Colts survived Monday night. Pick: Indy

New Orleans at N.Y. Giants – Ok, Ok, I’m done picking the Giants at this point. Pick: Saints

Tampa Bay at Cleveland – Welcome to a crucial game that will change the fate of the destination of some of the top players in the NFL! Recent history suggests that the Browns really enjoy winning games in the last 2 weeks to worsen their draft position. Yes, even when they win, they find ways to hurt the team. Speaking of hurting, I can't understand why the NFL union won't sue the NFL and the Browns for the FOURTH player in two years getting a staph infection after a surgery. Pick: Cleveland

Arizona at San Francisco - Because I have nothing better to say, I mine as well entertain with a Naked Gun quote: Drebin: “You’re part of a dying breed, Hapsberg. Like people who can name all 50 states.” Pick: San Fran

Washington at St. Louis - Drebin: “I’m sure we can handle this like adults. Isn’t that right Mr. POOPYPANTS?” Pick: Washington

Cincinnati at Denver - The Bungles will bounce back, don’t worry, they’ll still be a trendy Super Bowl pick. Pick: Cincy

San Diego at Seattle- I can’t wait until everyone starts freaking out that Seattle could possibly lose the division! The only problem is, Seattle would still have to lose to Tampa Bay next week. Pick: San Diego

NYJ @ Miami- It’s absolutely no fair that Mangina gets an easy schedule, (relatively speaking) with Miami and then Oakland. They have the inside track to the playoffs. However, this is a season full of coaching adjustments, and after Miami’s 21-0 loss to the Bills, the ‘Phins will find a way to rub the Mangina the wrong way. Pick: Miami

Last Week: 10-6
Season: 134-94
Manwich: 10-6 (Rumors of the Colts demise were not true)
Upset of the Week: 4-11 (The Falcons at least made it interesting in Dallas)