Week 5 - Good vs. Evil

We must now have a discussion that I’ve been dreading. My choice in the “Upset special” has gotten to a ridiculous point. I try to choose teams that aren’t just 2 point favorites. I only think it appropriate that I choose more “difficult” upset specials. Despite my noble cause though, I just make poor selections, and I’ve created a very powerful curse against these underdogs. In fact, I’ve started to feel as if it’s becoming one of the greatest jinxes (jinki? Jinxese?) in the 21 Century, rivaling even the powerful Madden curse! I took the time to check out some stats over the last few seasons:
1) I’ve currently missed 23 of my last 27 Upset Specials (dating back to midway through the 2004 season)
2) Over the last 6 games I’ve picked the “Upset special”, my choice has lost by an average of 28 points.
3) Over the last 27 games, my choice has lost by an average of 11 points per game, and that is giving myself the benefit of a 24 point slaughter by my choice of the Cardinals in the end of the 2004 season.
Recognizing that I can’t stop the curse, I’ve decided to use this power for good, not evil. I will now choose teams I dislike, in the hopes that they will lose!

Manwich Matchup of the Week
Pittsburgh at San Diego – Very interesting game. San Diego should be 3-0, but now they might be a bit more desperate at 2-1. Speaking of desperate, the Steelers have had 2 weeks to prepare for the Chargers. I don’t know who came up with the Steelers schedule, but its just murderous. I really don’t see Pitt stopping LT in any way. Granted, that didn’t stop the Ravens from winning last week. In addition, though I couldn’t find the source, I think Cowher has an amazing record after the bye. Pick: Pittsburgh

Upset of the Week
Balt @ Denver – I am using the “Upset Special” for good not evil. Cobra Commander can suck it. Pick: Baltimore

Buffalo at Chicago – Revenge game? Buffalo coach Dick Jauron will be out for some revenge as he faces his old team in his old surroundings. Pick: Chicago

Cleveland at Carolina – Curly Frye is suddenly a viable fantasy option in most leagues! Pick: CAR

Detroit at Minnesota- Where in the World is Wayne Fontes? Pick: Minnesota

Miami at New England- So much for Miami being competitive this season. Pick: NE

St. Louis at Green Bay – I liked the resolve Green Bay showed in the 1st half of the Monday Night game. I also like pumpkin pie, but neither plays good defense. Pick: St. Louis

Tampa Bay at New Orleans – I heard some Bob Marley on the radio, and I realized that Cadillac Willaims name works really well in Buffalo Soldier:
“And he was taken from Africa [music], brought to america,
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival.
Said he was a Cadillac Williams, Dreadlock Rasta -
Cadillac Williams in the heart of America.” Pick: NO

Tennessee at Indianapolis – I still can’t believe how close that Indy game was last week. Pick: Indy

Washington at N.Y. Giants- I still can’t get a solid read on either of these teams. Therefore, I'll just go with the home team. Pick: NYG

Kansas City at Arizona- Damon Huard could build some more confidence. Granted, playing San Fran and Arizona every week tends to build confidence. It’s kind of like going out with the village slut, and knowing you’re going to score. Pick: Kansas City

N.Y. Jets at Jacksonville- I realize Jacksonville can’t cover Santana Moss, but the Jets certainly don’t have any equivalent fast WRs… Anyways, Jets Coach Mangina has been very impressive of late. You know someone asked me who the coach of the Jets was last week, and I immediately said “Mangina.” Didn’t even think twice. I wonder if you can say that on TV. Pick: Jacksonville

Oakland at San Francisco- Cross-bay rivalry! Pick: San Fran

Dallas at Philadelphia- TO’s return to Philly. People may be throwing the following items onto the field in celebration of TO’s return to Philly: 1) pill bottles, 2) monopoly cash in the forms of paper airplanes, 3) old TO jerseys, 4) pom-poms, and 5) wet diapers. [Editor’s note: I wrote this before seeing “The Sandwich’s” link to that other site. Seriously.] Pick: Philly

Last Week: 9-5
Season: 34-26
Manwich: 4-1 (Thank you Bears defense)
Upset of the Week: 0-4 (Picking the 49ers in Kansas City was yet another 40-point mistake)