BSD goes to Game 2

So the editor calls and says thanks to the high sales and hits BSD has raised enough money to send 3 intrepid reporters to cover the ALDS. Luckily the Cleveland office was available so Gutsy, Laz and myself packed up our bags and headed over to corner of Carnegie and Ontario to cover Game 2 of Yankees and the Tribe. Laz (who moonlights as a traffic cop, child beater, astronaut and a porn star) and I joined the masses on the trek to the Jake. We crossed over Rock n Roll Boulevard and could tell the fans were jazzed. The out of town fans were getting razzed, the giant statue of Bob Feller was decked out in charming one piece and everyone was dropping beers like it might be their last. One has to remember that growing up in a dying city leaves one a little fatalistic so self-medication is always must.

Due to some miscommunication apparently you need press passes to get into the press box so instead we were given seats in the upper deck in right field. This would actually work out in our favor later in the game especially because its nice getting the common man's view of things to really be able to report. Laz also entered a hot dog eating contest for the same reason.

Pettite and Carmona pitched gems. Carmona gave up an early bomb before settling down doing a remarkable impersonation of Josh Beckett from his Game 1 performance. Pettite wasn't quite as dominating but anytime the Indians got into scoring position he shut them down or used his mind control powers to cause the Indian baserunners/coaches into a vegetative state.

Now I've never been to a playoff game before so I can't compare it but the strain and stress of being hyper juiced, making Yankees sucks chants and helping that guy that had 10 beers through 7 innings was beginning to take its toll. It was then that Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain (who from what I'm told is the Yankees version of Tim Tebow) marched onto the field to close the door on the Tribe. Chamberlain who I just prefer to call the Duke, has been unhittable with an over powering fastball and neon claws. However, Moses, who sits in bleachers next to the drummer guy (who btw greeted the fans at the Gates), raised his hands and demanded that Torre let his people go. Torre refused so Moses unleashed a plague of midges and locusts on their first born. Gutsy wondered if Cleveland has some villain that controlled bugs that was responsible but that's just preposterous. Obviously it was Charlton Heston in full Moses get up.

Chamberlain might be tough but he wasn't ready for an ugly planet, a bug planet that was the pitcher's mound (reporter's notebook, the bugs really stayed on the field and outside of Jeter's swatting and the spray down session we in the upper decks had no idea there even were any bugs). The midges swarmed Joba, punching him in the groin, getting in his eyes and possibly discussing his sister's choice in panties. Wild pitches and Grady's speed added up to a tied score. To celebrate Slider got the Rally Pie cheer going and hung a Yankee in effigy. Or I assume it was a dummy, MJ may have volunteered Kyle Farnsworth for sacrifice.

The Indians eventually would counter with their own super rookie Rafi "Scarecrow" Perez. The Scarecrow threw another 2 scoreless innings setting the stage for Willie Mays Hays err Kenny Lofton to get on base. A few days later (for such a low scoring game, it went on forever, I'm still not sure how.) the bases were loaded, there were two outs, no time outs and Jake Taylor err Pronk was facing a full court press. The entire stadium was up on their feet, screaming for free Jack Daniel's shots and/or an Indians hit with runners in scoring position. Everyone except my dad, who looked away as to not jinx the Tribe. With that extra bit of luck, Hafner hit a rifle shot into the outfield to win the game. The fans, or the ones wearing the racist garb, went crazy. Cheers erupted, high fives were delivered with terrific force with your neighbors, and I might have accidentally impregnated this married woman sitting below me (if the husband is reading this, that was totally my bad, but in my defense we got caught up in the moment).

Wow just wow. And you know what, it means next to nothing as the series goes on to New York for Game 3, where our own BSD New York branch will be covering it, possibly armed with baseball bats. Until then.....