Sunday, October 14, 2007

MMBSD: Buffalo Chips

Yes it was another week of upsets in college football. For the first time in 33 odd years a number 1 and number 2 team in the country lost in the same week. Not to mention last week USC took the swan dive. Suddenly no team seems safe to escape with the win. Crappy teams are taking big dumps on the big dogs. On the upside we don't have to listen to the yearly BCS trainwreck of what if 8 teams are undefeated (oh yeah all you playoff pushers...umm name your top 4 teams? heck name your top 8 teams). On the downside at this moment its looking like BC (as in Boston College) is positioned for a BCS championship berth.

Why you ask? I'm guaranteeing that either South Florida or OSU will lose before the end of the season. And I've already placed Colonel's house as collateral for that bet. Yes, the only thing standing between my last strand of sanity and joining MJ's Boston Massacre/Family Fun Sepuku Day is Virginia Tech (How much sports love can one city receive. Who do I have to pray to stop the 24-7 tongue bathing of Boston? Will Simmons be able to fluff Youklis, Garnett, Ryan and Brady at the same time? )

I just needed an image to cleanse the idea of the possibility of multiple Boston Championships. Thank you Arizona State (h/t deadspin)

Anyway back to the year of the upset there's a few trends to note. The explosion of televised of college football games and changes in culture has meant just about any players can be seen nation-wide and everybody wants to be the guy on the field (not the one on the clipboard). Its also been an odd year where the traditional powerhouses are breaking in young/new QBs (LSU, Florida, OSU, Oklahoma, Texas, Cal (due to injury), Wisconsin, etc). Obviously there have been exceptions with USC (where injuries have ravaged their backfield and Booty has clearly been identified as stupid hick) and That team up North (although watch out the Wolverines are playing well again) but I don't think its nearly as surprising that experienced senior QBs are leading BC, Oregon and Kentucky to wins.

Week 6: Nation Still Held Hostage: New England continues to smash the opposition. The latest team to fall to Belichek's rage the formerly 5-0 Cowboys. Is there no stopping their offensive juggernaut? Short of Brady being placed on the injured reserve with a case of buyer's remorse the only questions remaining will be the number of records the Pats shatter (Manning's TD mark, St.Louis' offensive output, Miami's undefeated season). Anytime a team has gotten close they've just upped their play. Its not a classy team as they ran up the score on Dallas. Or that the fact that Rodney Harrison went into the stands to shiv Tony Romo's mom. They are the football equivalent of great white sharks...just a remorseless killing machine and only susceptible to garlic and pure silver. And its probably is resulting in injuries to our nation's children.
Can we use the Governator to stop the Devil and prevent Belichek's master plan of ushering in the end of days?

In the Year of Our Purple Lord and Savior: If I was to build a creature capable of withstanding Belichek's mind control, it would probably combine Peyton Manning's advertising savvy, Vinny Testervade's anti-aging genes and Adrian Peterson's body. Purple Jesus cock slapped the Bears for 224 yards. During the game he broke three long runs, walked on water and immaculately impregnated a woman in section X seat 3 without leaving the field. I'm pretty sure he pisses purple excellence. Amen.

Quick Hits (or analysis that Pete King couldn't figure out with a lifetime supply of StarBucks): Big Papi and Manny are good. This understatement has been brought you to by the Law Firm of No, Shit, and Sherlock. I think baseball might have the worst announcers of any sport. I really would prefer to have those crazy bugs from Star Trek II gnaw on my brain then listen to Joe Buck. I can't believe I'm typing this but the ultimate Dirt Dog, Trot Nixon, can still swing a bat. Kansas might win the Big 12 North without defeating a single ranked team. This should disqualify them for a shot at the BCS. Arizona State is also undefeated thanks to coach Dennis Erickson, who is on his 4rth team and doesn't look his age (he's actually 242). If Rockies fans kill Dinger I will root against them till my dying day. He rules! #1 ranked Buckeyes? 5 straight games versus teams with winning records will show if its deserved.
Save Digger the Triceratops, Rockies fans

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