Week 5 – Laser Pointers vs. Pigeon Poop

Not only are the Bengals 1-3, in last place in the AFC North, and playing some real stinky football, but they have a flock of pigeons nesting in the rafters of the stadium and creating havoc at each game. The Bengals are stuck in a tough place, because 2007 is the year that the NFL must prove they are very friendly to animals (thanks Michael Vick!). The Bengals actually originally asked to use air-powered rifles to have the largest game of hunting birds since 1985’s Duck Hunt hit home consoles. PETA immediately opposed the plan and the Bengals quickly withdrew their request. Employees at the stadium now are using laser pointers before the Monday Night game to try and make the pigeons leave. I really don’t understand this plan, and it actually makes me believe the pigeons will want to stay to explore the science behind the laser pointers. I also like how the article in the above link has a team spokesman who admits that the laser pointers only produce “limited success” for scaring away the pigeons.

Onto the games…

Manwich Matchup
Seattle @ Pittsburgh – I realize the Steelers lost to the Cardinals last week, but I still think Pittsburgh is one of the better teams from the AFC. The Seahawks look pretty good as well in my mind so far, so it should be an exciting game.
Pick: Pittsburgh

Upset of the Week
Detroit @ Washington – This is an interesting game for two teams that weren’t really expected to do much this season. The problem is, I don’t think the Redskins can score enough points to keep up with the Lions.
Pick: Detroit

Jacksonville @ KC – Jacksonville just had a nice vacation on their bye week. Should be back to business for the suddenly excellent AFC South?
Pick: Jacksonville

Cleveland @ New England – Revenge against the Ravens is one thing. But playing in New England? I’m also not sure what the revenge angle is. Should the Browns get mad that Belichick isn’t their coach? That W. McGinest and Ted Washington aren’t as young as they were on the Patriots?
Pick: New England

CAR @ NO – I guess you have to go with the more desperate team. I also have to admit that under my predictions, the Saints would be undefeated.Pick: NO

NYJ @ NYG – This is one of the greatest alcoholic debacles on a Sunday and it only happens once every 4 years. NY vs. NY in football is just asking for insanity.
Pick: NYG

Miami @ Houston – Now that the Dolphins are demoralized after last week’s loss to the QB they once waived, I’d expect Houston to give them another lesson in running the score up.
Pick: Houston

Atl @ Tenn – The Titans are playing at home and coming off a bye week, so logic says they should win. Pick: Tennessee

Arizona @ St. Louis – Gus Frerotte is starting for the Rams in place of an injured Marc Bulger. Remember that time when Gus celebrated a touchdown by head-butting a wall in the endzone, and then injured himself? Good times!
Pick: Arizona

Tampa Bay @ Indy- Tampa may end up winning the NFC South, but I can’t fathom them winning in Indy, even with a bunch of injuries for the Colts.
Pick: Indy

San Diego @ Denver – The Chargers are desperate for something good to happen… and I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt once again.
Pick: San Diego

Baltimore @ San Fran – Alex Smith being injured really puts a damper on my “surprise” playoff team.
Pick: Baltimore

Chicago @ Green Bay – If the Packers win, they will be 4 games up on the Bears with only 7 to play!
Pick: Green Bay

Dallas @ Buffalo – Did anyone bother watching that Buffalo vs. Jets game last week? I can’t remember the last time a rookie debuted as brilliantly as the Buffalo QB did. Well, enjoy that moment all you can, because the Cowboys are not going to make you feel very well.
Pick: Dallas

Last Week: 7-7
Season: 36-26
Manwich: 4-0 (The Colts came through again)
Upset of the Week: 2-2 (Thank you Daunte Culpepper!).