MMBSD: All I want for the Holidays is a QB

Well with one week to go the AFC is all but sewn up and the NFC is down to a few lucky contestants. It was a year of polarization for the NFL between the haves and have-nots. Some teams have XBOX 360s slinging their passes and some team have a steaming pile of manure (coal is expensive this year unfortunately). While there are a number of culprits (position of Mars and Jupiter, salary cap, Dan Shanoff) I posit that the QB situation is particularly bad this year. Behold a listing of teams that will probably have a new quarterback startng at the begining of next year.

AFC
Miami- I don' particularly care how many games in a row Miami has won. Gus Ferrotte is not a long term solution. For anything. Rumors have been swirling that Miami will trade for a veteran QB.

Jets- The Jets have no answer to their QB problem within 100 miles of their sports facility.

Buffalo - I thought the Republicans passed a law banning a team to be led by someone named Kelly.

Cleveland - This previous draft might go down as the worst draft ever for quarterbacks. Charlie Frye I think is the best of the bunch and I'm starting to think he doesn't have the arm strength to win a stuffed reddy bear at the carnivale let alone an NFL game. (* maybe)

Baltimore - Baltimore is pulling a New Orleans. A late season push of an otherwise dreadful season to finish at .500. If I had writen this post 18 hours earlier I would have for sure put Kyle Boller's name in the maybe pile. Two straight good games may have changed that.

Tennesse- All signs point to the Titans releasing McNair. I think he might be in the Favre category (once great QB with rapidly diminishing skills).

Texas - I think David Carr has been sacked more often than Paris. A new coach usually wants his QB and has Carr really shown any progress in his time with the Texans? (*- maybe)

Oakland - I think instead of cutting Kerry Collins, Al Davis just going to plant drugs on him and send him over the Mexican border.


NFC
Dallas - Drew Bledsoe seems to be reverting to his old ways of imitating a tackling dummy. 50-50 chance but only a 10% chance of that (* maybe)

Detroit- There's a better chance that the Lions will simply forfeit next season than Harrington or Garcia are back.

Minnesota- Very intrigueing question what Minnesota does with their situation. Brad Johnson is currently figuring out which Medicare Part D he should sign up for so I'm guessing Minnesota will need someone on the backburner. At minimum Culpepper will be out until midseason (* maybe).

Chicago - I yield to the Chicagologist of BSDs. If I had a guess Grossman will stay on as starter next year although given his history of injuries is another QB in the running?

Favre Town- The great Favre retirement watch began 2 years ago and will continue until the inevitable occurs. Certainly in the maybe category.

New Orleans - Aaron Brooks will be the last quarterback to play for the New Orleans Saints. His tenure will end in this offseason.

Tampa- What happens in Tampa and Chris Simms when Brian Griese is healthy? I recommend an announce off between their respective fathers. (* maybe)

Arizona- Which seemingly over the hill QB will Dennis Green bring in next year. I'm going with Warren Moon. Take your bets now.

St. Louis - I'm guessing Bulger will be back but who knows for the once Mighty Rams. I suppose I could throw in Philly as a team that will have a team QB from the current moment but thats probably pushing it. (* maybe)

San Fran - Has there ever been so much doubt, so quickly about a number one draft pick? Alex "Small Hands" Smith is lucky he got a lot of money last year because that is the only thing that will save him from a fate worse than death (a commute to LA). (* maybe)


Total Count - Up to 17 teams will change QBs with a certainty around 8 or so. Now thats turnover.


** Thought of the Day: Given that I was raised to revere both refs and the Mafia I can really be proud when they're interests converge. The only explanation for the Dallas v. Carolina reffing buffoonery was a convergence of Mafia and Ref gambling interest. No other explaination for how you can miss a field goal block that obvious suffices. Well maybe temporary river blindness.