Week 13 – Five Times the Manwich

An amazing 5 games this week have major playoff implications, with 4 of the games being divisional games. This is a crucial week for playoff positioning…

Manwich Matchup of the Week
Atlanta @ CAR- I could choose any of the 5 games as my Manwich game, but this one seems most intriguing. Both the Falcons and the Panthers have dominated at times, and have been upset and looked terrible at other times. It will be interesting to see if the CAR defense is up to the challenge of stopping the wishbone offense of the Falcons, and they play each other again before the season concludes.
Pick: CAR

Upset of the Week-
Wash @ St. Louis- Whenever St. Louis finds a new QB, that fantasy football participants do not know, the Rams just start winning. Kurt Warner, Marc Bulger, and now Fitzpatrick have all come from obscurity to bask in the shower of victory. There’s only one exception to this rule – and that is Jaime Martin, the only NFL-caliber QB who is unable to lead the Rams to victory.
Pick: St. Louis

2nd serving of Manwich
Cincy @ Pittsburgh- I know last time they played Pittsburgh just clobbered the upstart Bengals. I’m just going for the revenge factor.
Pick: Cincy

3rd serving of Manwich
Dallas @ NY Giants- For MJ’s sake, let’s hope the Giants don’t go into a tailspin based off their kicker’s performance. The Giants actually did everything right, and deserved to win the game. But I also deserve a hot model for a girlfriend, and that doesn’t seem to be happening.
Pick: NY Giants

4th serving of Manwich
Denver @ KC- This begins the part of the season when everyone realizes that Denver can’t play well on the road.
Pick: KC

5th serving of Manwich
Seattle @ Philly- I call this “Philly’s Last Stand.” The Eagles are 2-games back of 3 teams for the NFC wild, and also 2-games back of their division, and are in a must-win situation at 5-6. Personally, I don’t see it happening, unless they scream out TO’s name 3 times.
Pick: Seattle

Buffalo @ Miami- Who’s going to watch this game?
Pick: Miami

GB @ Chicago – I can’t stand the Bears. It’s probably out of jealousy, because all I want is my team to overachieve like that.
Pick: Chicago

Houston @ Baltimore- Last week’s game was such a sucker-punch to the Texans. They had it all wrapped up, but then they gave up a touchdown, an onside kick where one defenseless player tried to recover the ball before being demolished, a FG, and a touchdown in OT. It would have been a way for me to gain some respect in the Upset Special rankings also!
Pick: Baltimore

Jacksonville @ Cleveland- The whole league has written off Jacksonville without Leftwich, but remember, as Bill Walton has astutely pointed out, “the team with the most points still will win the game.” Using the Trademarked Walton Analysis, it is apparent that Jacksonville may still win some games.
Pick: Jacksonville

Minnesota @ Detroit- In Cleveland, they would make songs for the Browns when they went to the championship game in the ‘80s (i.e. “Bernie, Bernie” to the tune of “Louie, Louie”). Denver had a competing song, titled “Johnny Elway” to the tune of some oldies ‘50s song that I can’t remember. Anyways, the #1 reason to root for the Vikings to make the playoffs, is that we could hear a song called “Sex Boat” to the tune of “Love Shack.”
Pick: Minnesota

TB @ NO- Go Bucs.
Pick: TB

Tenn @ Indy- Does anyone else just think Steve McNair should retire and save his aching body already?
Pick: Indy

Arizona @ San Fran- Toilet bowl! Toilet Bowl!
Pick: Arizona

NY Jets @ New England- It would be so funny if the Pats lost this game.
Pick: New England

Oakland @ San Diego- Marty “the Party” Schottenheimer is saving his good stuff for the playoffs, if he makes it there.
Pick: San Diego

Last week: 11-5
Season: 109-67
Manwich Matchup: 7-5 (Only because the Giants kicker missed 3 FGs)
Upset Special: 2-10 (The Texans had it all wrapped up, until that botched onside kick recover)