1. Big Tuna is Big Fraud: I made the comparison that Bill Parcells is actually a fat, white version of Lenny Wilkens. Both are considered Hall of Fame coaches and both are respected by media types and fans alike. Both are also totally overrated, at least in their older age. Parcells hasn't actually earned a paycheck since the 1st half of that Jets-Broncos AFC title game back in 1998. Now he just wears too-tight clothes, yells a lot for the sake of the camera and goes home to count Jerry's millions. I mean, how else to explain how the Cowboys could lose to Washington last Monday in such humiliating fashion? The Dallas/Washington game is the NFL's version of Yanks/BoSox or Dodgers/Giants. How on earth can you allow not one but two TD bombs on the same play with less than four minutes left on national TV to your biggest rival? How can you go into Week 3 against the 49ers, the league's least-talented team, with a bulletin board full of smack talk from Julius Peterson and still go into halftime down 24-12? How can you give up an 89-yard TD bomb to the 49ers after the Monday Night Flub? Didn't you spend a week in practice telling your safeties that their only job is featured prominently in the name of their position (SAFETY!)? Parcells has convinced people that he's still a good coach. I'm not fooled. He's a fat bully bastard who hasn't put in the effort he so famously demands of his players.
2. NFL mediocrity is ruining my Sundays: Goddamn the NFL is mediocre this year. It's really not fun to stay at home looking forward to football games only to have to see crap teams across the league. The Jets, Jaguars, Cowboys, Panthers, Saints, Vikings, Bills, Raiders, Rams, Ravens, Redskins, Seahawks, Packers and Lions are somewhere between overrated and absolutely horrendous. If the 49ers somehow hang on and win this game, they'll be 2-1 which doesn't encourage me but only proves my point even more. Who the hell wants to watch a crap-talent team like the 49ers have a better record than the "good" teams? Hell, even the Colts, at 3-0, make Sundays boring now.
3. Speaking of the Colts: What's up with them? How did they get to be so boring? Is it written somewhere that the Colts cannot have a good offense at the same time as a good defense? Where the Colts were once the most entertaining NFL team they are now perhaps the most dull because of how high the bar was set by their high-flying act. Is Peyton hurt? Is he on drugs? What the hell is going on with this team?
4. The state of coaching has never been worse: Besides the aforementioned Parcells, Mike Tice, Mike Martz, Marty Schottenheimer, Dom Capers, Herm Edwards, Mike Sherman, Mike Holmgren, Mike Shanahan, Norv Turner, Jim Haslett, Brian Billick, Dennis Green and Steve Mariucci are all showing serious signs of mental impairment. NFL GM's need to get out of the hiring cycle of re-tread coaches. NFL GM's need to actually watch the games their teams play. Why did Jim Haslett and Bill Parcells both go for two-point conversions early in their games? Why did Dennis Green do it in Week 1 vs. the Giants? Why do coaches go for it on 4th down on the road in the 3rd quarter when they're only down five points? Why don't coaches stop using the copy-cat method of coaching and go back to innovating the way Shula and Lombardi and Walsh used to in their heydays? Why is game management so hard for these people? There's a clock and it counts down in regular and predictable one-second intervals. It should very easy for a coach to implement a game plan with only two minutes left on the clock. How many timeouts remaining should also be easy to manage -- it's right there on the scoreboard for all to see! It's just an abomination to see Herm Edwards and Mike Martz burn timeouts in the 3rd quarter every week.
5. More Tuna-Hating: This is not rage but glee. I LOVE how horrible Drew Bledsoe is. I love that he's reunited with Fatty McTuna. Those two overrated idiots deserve eachother. Who but Tuna could be arrogant enough to think that Drew Bledsoe would be revived? Oh sure, the yards might be there at the end of the year but anyone, ANYONE, who's watched football since 1992 knows that Drew Bledsoe is the Sandy Alomar Jr. of the NFL -- TOTALLY OVERRATED. Sure Drew played on some bad teams. Sure he was hurt for a lot of his career but has anyone done less with more talent? Has anyone gotten more respect for basically showing up and not doing anything week in and week out? Nope.
I'm sure my Cleveland friends will argue this last point but I'm not budging. Other than 1997, Sandy Alomar never had a true All-Star season. He was the most overrated player of the 90's.
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