Viva Las Vegas

Not to outdo any other picks for football. I figured I give a Vegas special, since I will be going there tomorrow morning and losing all of my money through Tuesday. I will be bringing the title to my car just in case I sit down at the poker table at the Bellagio and decide to go all in with a 2-9 off suit at Texas Hold Em. Here are my picks against the spread. Winners are in Caps.

DENVER (-5) at Miami: I just moved to Denver so why not go with the home town team. (under of total points of 38.5)

CINCY (-3) at Cleveland: Who Dey, who dey tink gonna beat dem Bengals. (over of total points of 44.5)

Houston (+4.5) at BUFFALO: Even with a rookie QB, I say that Bufffalo's D scores all of the TDs. (under of total points of 39)

Tennessee (+7) at PITTSBURGH: If Roethaddaalkdsfsdlk;berger doesn't ride his motorcycle ala Kellen Winslow before the game they will be fine (over of total points of 40)

CHICAGO (+6) at Washington: I am not sure if there will be six points total in this game, so I to give it to the Bears and Bear Down, Chicago Bears!! (under total points of 30, final score 6-3 or 3-0).

New Orleans (+7) at CAROLINA: Unfortunately, an inprint of Aaron Brooks with Julius Peppers on top of him will be in the Carolina grass. (over of total points of 45)

Tampa Bay (+6) at MINNESOTA (over 43)

Seattle (+3) at JACKSONVILLE: Jacksonville's D will prevail even though there will be 80 MPH winds (under 40)

NY JETS (+3) at Kansas City: Gotta go with this upset, even though the Jets RB is older than my dad and Chad Pennington has more implants than the bionic man (over 48.5)

Arizona (+2.5) at NYG: The aforementioned Mrs. Warner will be a part of Giants Stadium along with her husband, with one being a part of the grass and the other in the concrete (over 37.5)

ST LOUIS (-5.5) at San Fran: Until Steve Young and Jerry Rice come back in their prime, with Ronnie Lott, a young Bryant Young and Deion on D, this team will win only two games (against the Bears and Texans). (under 46)

GREEN BAY (+1.5) at Detroit: Just for the fact that Brett Favre plays amazing when tragedy strikes his family...after his dad died, after his brother in law died, after his wife got cancer, after his dog, Tabasco ate the red pill and went to meet Morpheus and Alice in Wonderland. (over 46)

DALLAS (+4.5) at San Diego: No Gates for Brees, we will see the Brees of the Boiler Maker years. Dallas puts 8 guys in the box and Tomlinson can't do anything, game over. (over 40)

INDIANAPOLIS (-3) at Baltimore: Peyton. (under 46)

Philadelphia (+1.5) at ATLANTA (over 42): I want the producers to have a shock treatment for Al and John and anytime they say Terrell Owens or Donovan McNabb, they get shocked...that would make MNF much better.

This will be my last time giving my picks, because after this weekend, I will not have a car, a home or any possessions. I wonder if it will take the Republicans four days to find me.