Week 1 - Circus Circus

As usual, it’s been a crazy offseason. In the end, the Denver Broncos did the respectable thing and waived Clarett and forced Jerry Rice into an overdue retirement in a very respectable manner by telling him “hey, you can dress every other weekend, it’s cool.”
I actually think Minnesota’s acquisition of WR Koren Robinson (formerly of the Seahawks) is actually the best late-addition. Granted, it all depends on whether he’s actually sober or not, because that apparently was the difference when he was on Seattle. He’s still only 25 years old, and I hope he is able to stay sober and prove to the league (and Seattle) that he has something left in the tank.
My favorite roller coaster story of the offseason was QB Chad Hutchinson. He went from backup QB, to starting QB once Rex Grossman got hurt. Then, he performed so poorly, he was demoted. Then, he got flat out cut! Now that’s a traumatic 3 weeks.
Anyway, on to the 1st week of picks.

Manwich Matchup of the Week:
Philly @ Atlanta- McNabb @ Vick. This is a fantastic way to kick off the Monday Night Season! I’m curious to see how much Vick has grown into a pocket passer. I’m sure he will still scramble around and evade tacklers like a magician.
Pick: Atlanta

Upset of the Week:
Indy @ Baltimore-
It’s unreal how many people just aren’t respecting Baltimore this year. I think that one loss early on will be really motivating for the Colts (they are my Super Bowl pick). I also think that Baltimore has a stellar defense and that if you lock up Jamal Lewis in a federal penitentiary, he just gets enraged and needs to take it out on someone.
Pick: Baltimore

Oakland @ New England- should be an interesting game, as I’m pretty sure that the Raiders are capable of scoring 35 points even on the Patriots. Then again, the Patriots should have no trouble scoring 38 points on the Raiders. I would also like to reiterate something – Randy Moss is going to be amazing this year. You see, he has to play really well as “payback” to Minnesota for getting rid of him. Then next year, he will ask for a new contract and act like a cry-baby. It’s the TO way!
Pick: New England

Chicago @ Washington – A lot of matchups this weekend have very evenly talented teams. This matchup features two future cellar-dwellars.
Pick: Chicago

Cincinnati @ Cleveland – You see, I just have to take the emotion out of the picking here. I know my Clowns are only winning 4 games this year.
Pick: Cincinnati

Denver @ Miami –I’m curious to see how Denver and Jake Plummer play this year. I’m also curious to see whether Miami starting Quarterback GUS FREROTTE will celebrate by headbutting a wall, like he did on Cincinnati a few years ago.
Pick: Denver

Houston @ Buffalo- I still don’t trust rookie QBs, but Buffalo certainly has a great defense.
Pick: Buffalo

New Orleans @ Carolina – I hope the Saints somehow win the Super Bowl for the plight their citizens have been through. Unfortunately, the odds of this happening are equal to me landing a date with Anna Kournikova.
Pick: Carolina

NY Jets @ Kansas City – The Chiefs have a tremendous homefield advantage. I’m most curious as to how the defensive personnel will mesh, but I still don’t think it can be any worse than last year.
Pick: Kansas City

Seattle @ Jacksonville – This is just like Chicago-Washington, in that I have similar expectations for both teams. Both of these teams are very average teams, but when all else fails, I like choo – choo – choosing the home team.
Pick: Jacksonville

Tampa Bay @ Minnesota – I heard Tampa Bay coach let medical experts observe him during training camp to see how healthy it is to sleep only 2 hours per night. I also heard that Mike Tice scalped the results of the study to some other grad students.
Pick: Minnesota

Tennessee @ Pittsburgh – Even though Tennessee is in salary cap hell, they could give a team like Pittsburgh some trouble. I think one of the biggest question marks will be how effective Steve McNair will be this year.
Pick: Pittsburgh

Arizona @ NY Giants – I drafted Kurt Warner in one of my fantasy leagues after hearing that he went to a hypnotist who made him believe it was 1999.
Pick: Arizona

Dallas @ San Diego – Coach Marty “The Party” Schottenheimer always celebrates during the regular season (just not during the playoffs).
Pick: San Diego

Green Bay @ Detroit – As evidenced by my NFL Preview, I think Mariucci will find ways to win with Harrington. If Garcia ever has to play… well, that could be a different situation.
Pick: Detroit

St. Louis @ San Fran – Did you know? U-Miami RB Frank Gore, who has torn an ACL three different times, and has 2 medical redshirts from college, is on the 49ers!
Pick: St. Louis

Last Season: 151-107 (58.5%)
Manwich Matchup last season: 7-11
Upset Special last season: 7-9