Ingredients: I woke up this morning and already I could feel the excitement. The Game in Columbus this year has taken on a mythical quality. It's like Christmas mixed with Beyond Thunderdome. The air is thick with excitement, nervousness and gasoline. People will either go to bed early or not sleep hoping Saturday will come sooner. The wholesome part of the event (i.e. Christmas) is the family bonding that I'm sure occurs in the suburbs. Fathers will dress up in sweater-vests, climb down the chimney and give their kids more sweater-vests. People will unwrap their new tvs and gather as families and scream deaththreats together. However for those in the stadium area, there will be no cheering and jeering. Its Thunderdome! The crowds have paid for blood and there is steely eyed determination to get what they paid for. The tailgaters have been there since at least 8 AM working their craft on the grills. Heck for all I know they have full breweries operating. The students start milling in at around 9 and are armed with brick
s, flaming couches and smaller students to throw in case Lee Corso acts like, wel,l Lee Corso. Hey, he knew the risks when he signed for this mission. By the end Gameday will end up resembling the fall of Saigon except nobody is getting out. Luckily after careful research I have my Five Keys to the Game so you don't have watch/listen to Mark May and Lou Holtz.
1) DT Alan Branch v. OSU O-Line - Branch may be the best defensive tackle in college football. In fact he may be the best one ever to play the position for the Maize and Blue. There is no scheme in the books that can overcome interior pressure from the front 4. M*ch!g#n typically uses only 3 down linemen which means if Branch can eat up 2 blockers, let alone get pressure, Troy Smith's game will resemble Brady Quinn's.
2) Mike Hart v. OSU D-Line - Hart (of the Mike variety) is as solid and dependable running back as you'll find. He doesn't possess breakaway speed or flashy cutbacks but he does have incredible vision that allows the fireplug runner to eat up yards in chunks. The blocking scheme this year has been based on the Bronco's zone blocking. Hart's team is 17-1 when he rushes for 100 or more yards and there's no evidence that this game will be any different. If Hart runs wild, it'll be a long day for the Buckeyes.
3) Henne v. Laurinaitis et al - Since Mike Hart doesn't fumble the burden falls to Henne to play error free. The Buckeye defense has created interceptions all year led by the "Little Animal". Interceptions lead to quick scores for the high powered Buckeye offense which negates Mike Hart's rush attack. Henne needs to play smart.
4) The Horseshoe - For those that haven't ever been to the Horseshoe it’s a fairly unique stadium. The seating is steep which means that sound easily resonates. Opposing teams that get trapped in the closed end of the stadium tend to suffer irreparable ear drum damage. It requires a great deal of concentration to handle the noise for offensive lineman.
5) Troy Smith: Heisman Hopeful - This is Troy's last game in Columbus. It's his last game to impress Heisman voters. A victory will seal his coronation as THE Heisman winner. A defeat or poor performance will be the last thing voters remember. A Heisman hopeful however has already been squashed by the Team Up North's defense. Will Troy get his third victory against Lloyd Carr or will everything come crashing down.
The winner is going to the BCS National Championship Game, the loser will be knocked the fuck out. Oh yes, this game is beyond cheering and jeering. This is a gladiator fight to the death!
Things That Can I Cheer About
1. The Gameday crew lost their hotel rooms. A mad scramble ensued in which most of ESPN's crew ended up finding a place except for Lee Corso. So Gameday asked Eddie George if he would be willing to part with one of his rooms (George has booked a number of rooms for himself and his friend). To this George responded " Tell Corso he can go fuck himself". One can only imagine Corso sleeping on Kirk Herbstreit's couch tonight.
2. Jack Del Rio and Mike Nolan will be wearing suits on the sidelines this weekend. One of my biggest pet peeves with the NFL is that the coaches look like homeless people. Nobody looked better on Sunday than Tom Laundry with his grey hat perched on top. Thank goodness the NFL is allowing a little class back in.
3. Given the magnitude of The Game a double dose of umm cheers (Jessica Simpson and Ali Larter) is needed.
s, flaming couches and smaller students to throw in case Lee Corso acts like, wel,l Lee Corso. Hey, he knew the risks when he signed for this mission. By the end Gameday will end up resembling the fall of 
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