MMBSD: Questions, Questions

For those that know me, know that I'm road warrior. Nothing fills me with greater amounts of happiness and calm then driving down the construction laden, orange barrel filled, crappy driver littered highways. Ah to get behind the umm I think its called a wheel and to enjoy the open skies of scenic Ohio. Anyway while driving the interstates a few questions popped into my head like who's that hottie and why is she with that obvious jerk of a boyfriend? I mean he just seems like a rebel and who likes all those muscles. Would she like me or less if I held up signs asking for her to perform various tasks? And would Scarlett get jealous? After ruminating on that topic for awhile and before I solved the issue of how to make chilli with 6 alarms I tackled some sports questions. Here's what I came up with…..

1) Where do they breed those USC receivers?

Honestly, like all of them are over 6'4. All weigh in excess of 220. All run the 40 in like 4 seconds. Some of them seem to be able teleport and one possibly had a cannon in the middle of his chest. That’s just not normal. How exactly do you stop them? Sure Notre Dame's secondary hasn't stopped anything but those receivers were obviously bred by a company to be a super soldier but realized soldiers needed souls so they sold them to Pete Carroll at discount.

They also apparently use a superformula for making their cheerleaders at USC. I'll take the three on the right for Hannukah.

2) Why do announcers felatiate Brady Quinn?

Brady Quinn might be a great QB someday in the NFL and Quinn sure looks impressive at times. However name a big game that Quinn has looked good in? Name a big game that Quinn has actually won? I dare you. I double dare you. I mean if you knew that if USC beat your team they would get to sleep with your wouldn't you try a little harder than Quinn did? No heart I say, no heart.

3) Why is there not more of a QB controversy for the Bears?

Well the debate is over. The Bears have the best defense in the league. They also have a decent running game. All they ask of the QB is to throw less than lets say 3 interceptions a game. Factor in Chicago has a good backup in Brian Griese and it's a little perplexing why there aren't more questions. I mean if Plummer has already been benched then at least the question I think is fair game. Maybe those questions are being raised and my ears are packed with stuffing and gravy and sweet potatoes and pie and…. did I have a point?

4) Which Coaches will be gone after this year?

The axe man is sharpening his weapons for the soon to be end of the year beheadings so a question is who's neck will be on the line. The last few years have been pretty brutal so it leads one to think that this year's list will be fairly short. That said coaches are typically fired either because beyond ridiculous incompetence (Dennis Green), lose the team (i.e. team doesn't respect/listen to you anymore (John L. Smith) ; your team members have a tendency to kill or be killed (Larry Coker). At least in the NFL Art Shell seems to have the incompetence and not respect down pat so all he has going for him is he's a first year, Romeo Crennel- His team is imploding so somebody needs to take a fall that said this is only year 2 so its possible old RC will be back, Tom Coughlin - Coughlin deserves a great deal of kudos for all the injuries and making adjustments but the locker room certainly is a mess. I'm not sure a) why Coughlin wants to deal with this and b) the Giants organization doesn't over-react. Something needs to purged, Bill Cowher - last year of his contract, family has fled to North Carolina and the current season seems about as much fun as listening to Joe Theisman and Tony Kornheiser talk to Jay-Z (wait they actually did that?), and Jeff Fisher - Also last year of his contract. He's a great coach and the team seems to be improving but hey last year of contract and there's uncertainty if the Titans' will let him grow his beard back. Note this does not mean I think these people WILL be fired but there is certainly that possibility. Others?

Sure he's got a nice gig in Titanville but deep down Jeff just wants a hug and a beard like most of us do.

Is anyone really going to make a comment that the East is slowly catching the West in the NBA?

No. Not even Steven A. Smith can make a crazy rant like that. I think………