In stunning news yesterday, a small sleepy town of hunter-gathers was discovered in North Carolina. The natives seem to be very fast, very brave and capable to taking down big game. They also seem to have odd celebratory festivals where no cars are burned and toilet paper falls from the sky.
In a completely unrelated story the biggest hangover ever was recorded in a 30 mile radius around the Big House in Ann Arbor. It is unclear if Lloyd Carr's body found tarred and feathered is related to this massive hangover. Scientists are certain, though, that the aftershocks will be felt....FOREVER!
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