Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Colonel Sanders' Finger Lickin' Picks Week 1

Well that time of year is upon us. The aspen are starting to turn golden, the ski slopes are starting to get powdery, the Wolverines are starting to hibernate early, it is indeed football season. I will have a Nordic tilt on my picks periodically throughout the football season from my better half (probably will just include types of shots of Absolut instead of betting), however this time around it will just be my poor grammar southern Ohio talk. I might have to adopt the sweatervest or take Lloyd Carr out to a strip club, it seemed to work to get rid of Gary Moelller. Ok on to my picks.



NO (+6) at IND: NO. For some reason I like NO here. Maybe it is the fact that the Indy defense is just horrible. Maybe it is the fact that I think that alot of the Indy players came from Michigan, or maybe it is just the fact that I trust Reggie Bush to run all over their run defense in the dome. I say that Indy might lose the game and will definately not cover.



ATL (+3) at MINN: MINN. Ah the land of the forgotten bow wow comes to the land of Prince and the Sex Boat. Maybe Prince should set up a video on a cruise ship with Dogs copulating with the offensive line of the Vikings while they try out their own dog Whizzinators. Ok that is probably disallowed, but a funny concept.



CAR (+1) at STL: STL. The spread is basically nothing, it is a home game for the Rams, gotta go with the homefield love, even though I don't know which Car team will show up. I think that Car will piss off many a gamblers this year.



DEN (-3) at BUFF: DEN. No longer does the porno stache grace the snowfield that is Denver. I like the new defensive additions here in Denver. There will be some RB that runs well that comes out of the backfield who does not have 15 children in 5 different countries.



KC (+3) at HOU: HOU. Something tells me that Houston will turn things around this year. I am not sure where this is coming from. KC has lost their O-line, their running back is bitching more than a certain Barber not named Ronde and Herm Edwards in the coach. I don't see them being good at all.



MIA (+3) at WAS: WAS. And so begins the trainwreck that is the Dolphins against the trainwreck that is the Redskins. I am sorry for any people in the DC area that have to be subjected to this game.



NE (-7) at NYJ: NYJ. A very interesting game to start off the season. Sure NE will win the game, but I think that the Mangina will keep it close. Someone will make Randy Moss mad or kidnap Tom Brady's baby or just bring up the fact that Brady played for Michigan.



PHI (-3) at GB: GB. (PHI) I am sorry Andy Reid's kid needs to become a vicodin junkie, have his wife get cancer, have his dad get run over by an ATV, lose his house to a hurricane to come any where close to surviving in the tundra. This message was sponsored by Peter King. Who am I kidding, Brett Favre is old, the Eagles will cover.



PITT (-4.5) at CLE: PITT. Sorry Steamers. I don't know who your QB is, the big fat fishing guy from Laverne and Shirley can't block every single defensive guy. You need help from someone and it is not a convicted felon. There is only one Ohio team that can play with felons.



TENN (+6) at JAC: JAC. And so begins the Madden season of Vince Young and whatever team that surrounds him.



CHI (+6) at SD: SD. This is one of those games, that I know that I should be taking Chicago because of the fact that Norv Turner is involved in something, however I will have faith in LDT getting the TD to cover the spread. Much like Barry Sanders of old, a really crappy coach will not hold back an amazing running back (see Gary Moeller, Wayne Fontes, Bobby Ross, etc)



DET (+2) at OAK: OAK. Much like the Was/Miami game, I feel sorry for those living in the Detroit or Oakland area. And much like that game, this will go to the home team, although they have nobody on their team.



TB (+6) at SEA: SEA. Seattle has always been good at home, especially against a team that was begging porno stache to come to play for them.



NYG (+6) at DAL: DAL. Two teams that I am not a big fan of in a division that I am not a big fan of. America's team will beat out America's cancer in the first of 16 losses to Eli and the whiners.



BAL (+2.5) at CIN: CIN. I just read an article about how Cincinnati was trying to enlist players from Ivy League schools to make the team SMRT. Come on, who would you rather have on your team, these guys:




or this guy







Yeah me too.



AZ (+3) at SF. SF. Vegas likes the 49ers so gotta go with the favorite and they are at home too.

No comments: