Thursday, September 13, 2007

Colonel Sanders' Finger Lickin' Picks Week 2

So last week wasn't the greatest week in the world for the Colonel. Michigan found out that 20s style football defense doesn't work in the 21st century. i realized that I couldn't move to Mars. And I found out that Pho was made with beef, not the meat that was fed to me in the jungle. So hopefully this week will be better. Here are my picks:

ATL (+11) at JAX: ATL. Ok 11 points is alot against a team who's offense is lead by some guy that sounds French. I don't think that Garrard or Byron (my parents were going to call me that name, I am glad they chose Colonel) can put up that many points on a decent Falcons defense.

BUF (+10) at PITT: BUF. Gotta go with the underdog against alot of points. I can feel the play one for the paralyzed guy type of games.

CIN (-6.5) at CLE: CIN. Sorry Steamers. You got rid of your QB for a rookie that took forever to sign and are starting a guy that used to be a guard for the Cavs in the late 90s. I will take the Bungals, please.

GB (+1) at NYG: GB. In the immortal words of MJ, FTB.

HOU (+6.5) at CAR: HOU. Something tells me that David Carr was a cancer and the guy from Denver is on his way to make the AFC South more competitive.

IND (-7.5) at TENN: IND. Indy proved me wrong last week and I got the TENN game wrong too, so screw both of them, I think that Indy's offense can put up a few numbers in Grand Ole Opry Land. They should rename the stadium, The Grand Ole Opry Stadium and have square dances at halftime. And I have always wondered why the Titans are named the Titans. Have you ever seen any big people in Tennessee? Are they describing Dolly Parton's boobs?

NO (-3) at TB: NO. Ok does this seem like a no brainer or what. The Saints who are alot better than they showed on Thurs are coming to face a team without their RB and some old bald guy at QB.

SF (+3) at STL: STL. This game could go either way, so I will take the home team...since Vegas thinks it will go either way.

DAL (-3.5) at MIA: DAL. And so begins the quest between the Phins, the Browns (who give it to Dallas) and the Giants for the first round pick.

MINN (+3) at DET: MINN. I am liking the Vikings this year and between them and the Pack, there might be some surprises in the NFC Norris.

SEA (+2.5) at ARI: SEA. The Cardinals should never have left where they came from. And this is another problem that I have. How many Cardinals live in Arizona. Name your team the Minutemen, or the Vultures or the Illegals or John McCain's Nutsacks or something, not a bird that is found in the Midwest.

KC (+12) at CHI: CHI. The game will be 14-0 with Chicago scoring two defensive TDs or two kick returns. I don't know which offense is more abyssmal.

NYJ (+10.5) at BAL: NYJ. Wow both teams are without their QBs. You have Kyle Boller vs. Kellen Clemens. I didn't know that one of the Rockets sons played football. I thought that Cody, Colby, Cutler, or whatever other dumb Texan name all played baseball. The points are too much for a sucky Ravens offense.

OAK (9.5) at DEN: DEN. There is no mercy against the Raiders in the land of Investing.

SD (+3.5) at NE: NE. The only reason I say this is that Norv Turner is the opposing coach. Take Norv Turner against Belichek, I like Mr. Cheater.

WAS (+7) at PHI: PHI. I am happy that those in DC aren't forced to watch their hometown team on Sunday. Now you get to watch the Ravens against the Jets, fun times.

Last Week: 7-7-2

Season: 7-7-2

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