Well we’re 1/8th of the way finished with the regular season, which means with utmost certainty we can declare the winner and stop playing the games. Or not. It’s too early to bury a team or begin looking around for that surprise team but a few trends jump out early on.
Uppers and Downers
- Obviously aliens have taken to replacing NFL teams. Exhibit A: the body snatching of Cleveland and insertion of a team that resembled a professional football team. The Browns in their 51 point outburst scored more points than they had in their previous 5 games (somewhere out there is a very happy person who took the over in that game). Romeo Crennel was seen blinking and possibly moving his hands which is more than he’s done in the previous 10 games. The RAC Death Watch is actually off for the next six days. Special props go out to the offensive line, specifically rookie Joe Thomas and free agent Eric Steinbach for clearing running room for Jamal Lewis for 200 plus yards (who was not wearing purple pants when he accomplished this) and not yielding a sack.
- Tops in the downers (disappointment) category right now is New Orleans. Maybe there’s too many expectations. Maybe teams just give up when Pete King picks them. I don’t know. But the offense looks pedestrian. The defense is sieve like and the special teams are nothing that could be leveraged for illegal prescription drugs. Not that I would or anything to celebrate the Browns victory. Its not the time to panic as Carolina and Atlanta are doing their part as they try to lay claim to the worst division in football but it is time to get the warning lights on. Remember the past four division winners of the NFC South was the previous year’s last place team which means watch out for the Return of Chucky.
Saints season in flames but not finished.- In the uppers category so far: Pittsburgh, Green Bay and Houston. Pittsburgh has looked outstanding. While the competition has been Kevin Spacey weak, Steelers seem to be back and worthy of consideration of possible AFC Champ contenders (certainly leap frogging Denver and San Diego). Matt Schaub is making it seem that David Carr is the bust, not the offensive line. Texans 2-0 and the Browns scored over 51. Who had that bet? Meanwhile the Packers are continuing where they left off meaning that the playoffs are certainly in reach.
Off the top of my head
- Andrea Kramer reported on the Late Late Football Show that the Jets are asking the NFL to investigate if the Pats beamed in defensive calls via radios and possibly hacked into the Jets radio signals. First the illegal video surveillance and now wire tapping? I’m waiting to hear that Belichek keeps his player’s families in Gitmo. Do he and Cheney trade notes? Did they both sell their soul to Satan as part of some two for one deal? What the hell is going on over there?
Goodell v. Belichek
- While the Saint Louis Cardinals nose dive is pretty disappointing, the see-saw battle between Algonquin for the Good Land and Los Cubbies has to be producing ulcers of epic scale.
- FTB
- Remember this name: Andre Woodson. He is the quarterback for Kentucky. His team topped Brian Brohm’s Louisville team in the winner gets Dental Care Cup. He will be a top 10 pick and possibly the first QB taken in next year’s draft. Suck on that analysis Kiper.
- Sam Bradford, freshman QB for Oklahoma, is looking like he will supplant Colt McCoy as best QB in the Big 12. It could officially happen when the Red River Classic is played, which could mean that there may be shoot out, which would be a first in Big 12 history.
Things I’m looking forward to:
LSU’s defense v. Tim Tebow’s knee. I’m hoping the defense wins that.
Karma v. Rutger’s Coach Greg Schiano. With Rutgers up 45-0, Schiano called 3 straight time-outs to get the ball the back before half-time. If Karma wins watch for Schiano to get a parasite in his urethra.
Belichek v. Dick Cheney in a paranoia off.
Quote of the Week
“I’d rather bludgeon my eye balls out with my own dong than watch Ravens v. Jets.”
“If you can do that you’re in the wrong line of work”
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