Cheers and Jeers: Purple Jesus Edition

Ingredients:

• 1 part Ginger ale
• 1 part Grape juice
• 1 part Vodka
• 1 part Grain alcohol (188 proof)

Its Pittsburgh Steelers week for us Browns fans. Now historically the Browns have owned the Steelers. From Marion Motley running over their team, fan and owner Andy Rooney's car to Turkey Jones suplexing Terry Bradshaw (leaving Bradshaw the drooling vegetable you see on TV today). However something changed when former Brown Bill Cowher took the Pittsburgh job and for the first time since the rivalry started Pittsburgh could take the series' lead against the Browns. Sure the Browns could go out and win and restore my faith that there is a reason to live but instead I decided to rip the head off Mr. Hunny Bunny (oh wait that was my childhood toy). Alright fine I'll make stupid jokes at the expense of the Steelers. So here are my top reasons why the Steelers aren't really a team but instead a front for a Gay Porn operation

1. Jeff Reed - Jeff Reed, the Pittsburgh Steeler kicker has a thing for his dong. It's well documented.He sends pictures . grabs it. Names it the Octagon. Obviously he's overcompensating for something. Maybe he's angry that former Senator Davis didn't stop by his airport. Maybe Peter King isn't returning his phone calls. Who knows but a man that loves the cock that much is obviously a part of the gay porn star ring.

2. Joey Porter - Yeah I realize he's not with the Steelers anymore but he WAS the face of the Stelers. And honestly short of joining a member of the Village People, could he have been any more of a gay porn star? He kissed Cowher. A man who's very mustache exuded 1950s conservatism. And yet Porter had to kiss him. And then when left he joined a cabana band in Miami. What do you think he's selling?

3. Roethlisberger - He posed in GQ. 'Nuff said.

4. Steely McBeam - Gayest mascot ever. See above picture.Seriously how do you name a mascot Steely McBeam. You might as well call him Cocks McGree or Hank Hightower. Maybe you should give him a giant phaliac hammer to complete the image. Seriously they're not even trying to hide the fact that they're part of the gay porn industry

5. The Steel Industry - Its a well established fact that the entire Steel Industry is gay. They work hard, they play hard. Mainly at the Anvil.

I want to be clear not that there's anything wrong with it, well maybe the porn part and hypocrisy part but still. I just want to lay out that Pittsburgh Steelers, their fans, their city and anyone thats ever been associated with it, supports the gay porn industry. And now for a little cheering and jeering....

Cheers: To games of the week. Saint Louis Cardinals v. Chicago Cubs on Friday, LSU v. Virginia Tech on Saturday and Chicago Bears v. San Diego Super-Chargers on Sunday. Also, subject to local black out, Laz versus a large cheese pizza, MJ versus his inner rage and the Colonel against a pair of rogue Delta Force operatives. In other words a normal weekend for our various contributors.

Cheers: Appalachian State's victory. While the victory has been enjoyed by all not affiliated with the maize and blue, I would note that oddly Appalachian State athletic gear is selling particularly well in Columbus. Not sure why

Jeers: To me. I erroneously noted that Gary Baxter, sufferer of TWO blown out patella tendons, would be placed on IR. This did not happen, as the Browns are allowing the cornerback/dreamer to continue rehabbing in hopes he can join the team soon. Here's hoping too

Cheers: To rookies. I'll be watching out for the following rookie performances: Adrian "Purple Jesus" Peterson, Jaws in the booth for MNF and if he strangles Tony Kornheiser, if somebody can beat The Whiz (Ken Whisenhent), if Joe Thomas can put a clean Cleveland Steamer on Pittsburgh's chest and Sexy Rexy time (cause when your with Rex it always seems like your first time))

Jeers: To unanswered questions. Given the awesome destructive power of Pacman Jones, why has Old Man Goodell not unleashed him on Bill Simmons?

Jeers: To leaving DC. Yes after a wonderful time in your nation's capital, I am returning to the rapid killer cows and explosive grain silos of Columbus, Ohio. I enjoyed visits from most of the BSD star contributors and consider myself lucky that my liver did not give out at any time.

And now our Cheers and Jeers gals of the week....Jenn Sterger (center) and the wonderful Co-Eds of FSU