Monday, September 10, 2007

MMBSD: Football!

Well its the return of the popular Monday Morning Back Street Driver. The great column that looks back at the week of sports and tells what was important, why it was important, who missed the importance and where are the Hitman's pants (Nova Scotia according to satellite photography).

Parity Schmarity
The NFL is the teflon league. Somehow it escapes the obvious scrutiny that baseball does on performance enhancers. They also somehow escape on the parity. Sure there's great rotation as to who makes the playoffs but honestly the big boys haven't really changed in awhile. This season is looking no different. Peyton was as good as ever and the Indy defense looked oddly the best it well ever has. They simply dismantled Drew Brees and the taunted Saints offense. Meanwhile rumors of Randy Moss' demise has been greatly exagerated. Maybe Moss decided he wanted to play. Maybe he got his hamstring replaced with a rubber band. Maybe Belichek stole his weed stash and wouldn't give it back until Moss played well. Who knows? But man oh man did the Pats make the Jets look like amateur hour. Anyone want to bet against a Pats v. Colts Superbowl err AFC Championship Game.

Mumbles going through his water training exercises....

The Lesser League

Well maybe another long season for the lesser league known as the NFC. Both their supposed heavyweights faced off agains the best of the AFC, both defeats. While New Orleans was eliminated by the second quarter the Bears defense (and horrific reffing. Tommy Harris I think was over the line, into the backfield and possibly punching Norv Turner before the ball was hiked) in the game. However by the end it was apparent that the Chicago offense wasn't going to take control. Things to keep an eye for the defending NFC Champs...Thomas Jones absence. I'm not sure that the running game can work without him.

Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen

For the first time ever both Michigan and Notre Dame have started the season 0-2. Ever. And they've been playing since the original Turkey Bowl when the Pilgrims won the toss and used small pox to engineer a touchdown drive. Lloyd Carr, who in national conscience time won the National Championship 40000 years ago, is going to have resign. On the other hand, a man that never has won anything by himself in his life, Charlie "Pizza the Hut" Weis is running an offense that has yet to score an offensive touchdown this season. Possibly luckily for the players (definitely not the fans) the stoppable force of the ND offense meets the movable object of Michigan defense this coming Saturday. Someday has to win? Right?
Charlie Weis wants you to continue drinking his Kool-Aid....

Quick Hits
The Romeo Crennel Death Watch Level has been raised to: Green Mile Deadman Walking Level with a Roethlisberger 4 touchdown affair and having a quarterback yanked in the second quarter.

Right this way Mr. Crennel....

In week 1 in the year of our Purple Jesus, I think he scored 54 touchdowns and became the first human being to break the sound barrier. He may have also saved a puppy at halftime.

Roger Federer is that good. Outside of maybe Tiger Woods I don't think anyone dominates his sport like Federer. When its all said and done he might be the best ever. And yet the only thing I know about him is that he likes Schick razors.

So much for the SEC dominance over the rest of college football. Auburn lost to Big East South Florida this week which followed up Tennessee's lost to Cal last week. Wait the media over-hyping something, please, that never happens.

Fun Fact that will repeated to death on Sports Center. Chris Collinsworth looks like the Crypt Keeper. I mean Mario Williams has more touchdowns that Reggie Bush. Suck on that Kiper Jr.!

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