MMBSD: Trains are Getting Closer

A few weeks ago a cautioned against the possible train wreck of more than two undefeated teams in college football. Well week eight has come and gone and there are still six left. Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe is already hyperventilating, Mike Lupica of wherever its ok to have nine espressos before 10 am is preparing to burn something in effigy and hundreds of other sports reporters are ready to follow Mike Wilbon in storming the secret fortress of the BCS (there has to be secret lair where those people meet).

Personally I can handle the disappointment of not having an overwhelmingly definitive champion. I'm from Cleveland, not having an uber-college football champion doesn't even rank in the top 5 of the sports agonies of the week (It ranks just below Shaker Heights High School's loss in women's field hockey but above not getting a good fortune cookie). Nonetheless here's handicapping the final undefeateds

#1) USC - Reigning defending champs. Haven't lost since Milliard Fillmore was President. 3 games that could be classified as potentials (at Cal, Fresno, UCLA). UCLA is the only one that will make it a game but in the end USC is going undefeated.

#2) Texas - Only semi-notable win is at OSU of the Buckeye Variety. They just got off giving Texas Tech the biggest pounding the Lonestar state had seen since Debbie Does Dallas. All of the teams left on the schedules have players no more than 6 inches tall. Since none of the players are Diktas, Texas is rolling.

#3) V-Tech - The other Vick seems to be a pretty good player in his own right. However V-Tech probably has the toughest road to go and frankly should leap frog Texas if they pull off an undefeated season. #13 BC, #6 Miami, a schizophrenic Virginia (how do you beat FSU but lose to UNC), that same UNC team and then an ACC championship game (probably FSU). Now thats tough. My gut tells me they'll slip up somewhere. But I vow to punish someone if V-Tech goes undefeated and Texas gets slaughtered in the championship game.

#4) Georgia - Despite losing a bunch of players from last year, the Bulldogs have had a solid year led by a defense that beats up opposing players (kind of like FSU defense except in FSU case you would substitute opposing players with girlfriends and that random white dude). Georgia lost their starting QB (DJ Shockley) at the wrong time with Florida and Auborn coming up. Doesn't look pretty.

#5) Alabama - I always like Don Shula (it was the hat) so I saw myself rooting for his son and the Crimson Tide when they hit a double to clear the bases and beat Tennessee 6-3. It was the most painful football game I had seen until Baltimore v. Chicago took the title of worst game ever. Alabama still has LSU, Auburn (best rivalry in the state of Alabama) and a SEC championship game. Probably not in their stars but its been a heck of a turn around for Shula the Younger.

#8) UCLA - I don't know much about this team except that it seems like USC light. They have a great running back (Maurice Drew), a crappy defense and seem to get behind in the first half a lot. Is anyone suprised though? Its LA. The teams, the fans, nobody shows up until the 2nd half. They have a zesty Arizona State (is it wrong to call a Southwestern team zesty?) and the University of Spoiled Children left. Miracle run will end in LA.

And Now My Random Thoughts-
While Cinci has improved, Pittsburgh proved who the champ still is in the division. They made Cinci their bitch to use a phrase popular with the kids. Cinci proved they weren't ready for the big time and as such remain the ex-Bungals. Will they be ready for the rematch later in the season? Its officially a race for the worst in the league between Houston, San Fran, Green Bay and soon to be ex-Saints. Each has some qualifications - no wins, being run over, choking against Minnesota and losing to a team without a coach, qb, wide reciever or defense. Vote now. Due their performance the Browns offense has officially been deemed a crime against humanity. I don't think I had felt that sick at watching something since I saw that Ronald Reagan movie. The one bright spot about the World Series is that if Chicago wins I demand that someone forces Guillen to keep his promise and retire. I heard the verbal contract. The wonderful B's of Astros (Biggio and Bagwell) while once great should be let out to pasture to stud. Bagwell looks overmatched.