Weekend's Best & Worst

I'm giving you readers a recap of my weekend...

-Weekend's best movie quote goes to Jeanie (Jennifer Grey) in Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "...I have my father's gun and a scorching case of herpes..." What a great line. It gets looked over in a very quotable movie from the 80's but I just caught it yesterday, on my 151st viewing.

-Weekend's best college football game goes to Notre Dame/USC: Two teams with so much on the line playing in one of the shrines of football. With a win, Notre Dame would be squeezing out conference players for a shot at a big-time BCS bowl bid as well as ending the nation's longest winning streak. Alas, USC pulled it out on the last play of the game, saved their #1 ranking and probably won't be tested again this year. Even in a loss, Notre Dame announced that they're working their way back to the ranks of the best programs in the country.

-Weekend's best pro football game goes to Denver/New England: Not because it was particularly well-played but because it's so much fun seeing the Patriots lose. If the Steelers had any chachos whatsoever and knew how to play defense when it counted, the Pats would actually be 2-4 and possibly screwed for the season. The Pats are very much alive (they can legitimately go 10-0 to end the year with that crap schedule) but it's nice to see Denver winning at home and making the winter in New England just a bit colder. It's also nice that I get to be right about the intelligence of signing the former Cleveland Browns defensive line unit. In Cleveland they sucked because they were on the field 40 minutes a game. In Denver they're good because they are used as part of a rotation and thus not overexposed. Two of my three NFL predictions are coming true (Vikes bad, Denver good, Washington to playoffs) and the third still might happen.

-Weekend's best baseball series goes to the Cards/Astros: I'm rooting for the Astros to advance to the World Series for the first time in franchise history and for insufferable bully Tony LaRussa to get his. To the Astros I say - keep up the good work. To the king of overmanaging I pass along this message - You idiot! You're not doing your team or your reputation any good by watching the game from the clubhouse. The only difference between you and Bobby Valentine is the World Series ring you have because you were smart enough to bat McGwire and Canseco back to back in the order. 1983, 1988, 1990, 1996, 2000 and 2004 come to mind when I think of Tony LaRussa.

-Weekend's worst baseball series goes to the Angels/White Sox: Oh lord was this a stinker. The Angels got jobbed on a call in Game 2 and didn't look like they ever got back into it. The White Sox continue to win with what must be considered one of the worst offenses in recent baseball history. How is it that Joe Crede, he of the career .742 OPS, continues to crush opposing pitching while Vlad Guerrero, reigning MVP, had ZERO RBI in 10 playoff games? Hate the Yanks (and Red Sox) all you want but anyone that tells me they were entertained by this ALCS is an f-ing liar. Is there a more miserable sight than seeing Jerry Reinsdorf or Ozzie Guillen happy? Those two dirtbags deserve to be crushed under the weight of stampeding rioters on Chicago's South Side.

-Weekend's worst football game goes to the Giants/Cowboys: This was a stinker too. The teams combined for eight turnovers and two touchdowns. The Giants had the game in the bag in the first half, the Cowboys had the game in the bag in the second half and then the NFL's idiotic overtime rules made a winner out of a team when neither deserved to win. It should've ended with both teams being swallowed whole by a plague of locusts. Someone explain to me why college football has an overtime system that works while the NFL lets something as important as victory get determined by a coin-flip? The NFL needs to put their ear to the ground on this one -- I don't know anyone that thinks the current system works.

-Weekend's worst event goes to Monday: Who the hell likes waking up on Monday morning knowing that five days of school/work/both loom ahead. To Monday - go fuck yourself.