Week 7 – Who Does Fred Smoot Work For?

I really did think the Vikings were going to rally, and let the “Sex Cruise” PR nightmare be a way for them to focus their efforts to capture the NFC Norris Division Crown. I foresaw great quotes like: “See, we can have our fun on a boat and still win on Sunday.” It could still happen. Anyway, I like how they hired some guy who worked in the FBI to be the “Security Director” for the team. I picture a guy like Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) running around, chasing down leads of players going to strip clubs, yelling at players, “Who does Fred Smoot Work For?!?.” This would be a great TV show for the Comedy Channel, called “69” instead of “24”, and would take place from Friday afternoon until Monday morning, as police blotters give out new leads to the Minnesota Security Director within hours of the conclusion of each week’s game.

Manwich Matchup of the Week-
San Diego @ Philly- Where KC may have failed, I expect Marty the Party Schottenheimer to shove the ball down Philly’s throat and not allow a 2nd-half rally.
Pick: San Diego

Upset of the Week-
Green Bay @ Minnesota- Did you know? The NFC Norris Division is winless on the road.
Pick: Minnesota

Detroit @ Cleveland – At the beginning of the season, I thought it was destiny for Jeff Garcia to be playing QB, but alas, he is not healthy enough to play.
Pick: Cleveland

Indy @ Houston- I decided to watch a portion of the Houston-Seattle game last week, due to a vested fantasy interest I had in rooting against Hasselbeck. Anyway, I was in shock at a) how poor the Houston offensive line was, b) how Carr only had about 2.5 seconds before the pocket collapsed, and especially c) how the ESPN announcers were PRAISING Houston’s offensive coordinator for allowing Carr to throw the ball the moment it was hiked in order to gain 2 yards on successive plays. I only watched 2 Houston series, but they didn’t use the shotgun at all. As opposed to scrapping 60% of a playbook, why didn’t they just use more shotgun plays???
Pick: Indy

KC @ Miami – Miami is still an unknown at this point, but I think KC realized (again) how effective screen passes are with Priest Holmes.
Pick: KC

New Orleans @ St. Louis- All I know is, I rushed to pick up Jaime Martin back in 2002 when Kurt Warner got injured, and Jaime Martin immediately became injured, and then Marc Bulger became the newest successful Rams QB. So that means the real QB to pickup this week is some guy named Ryan Fitzpatrick, a 7th round pick from Harvard.
Pick: St. Louis

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati – Cincy has reached the gates of excellence, while the Steelers are still battling injuries.
Pick: Cincy

San Fran @ Washington- It’s almost as if Santana Moss knew that this was the 1st year in the last 4 that he wasn’t on my fantasy team.
Pick: Washington

Dallas @ Seattle- My new picking strategy is going to continue to pick against teams that have dramatic victories the previous week. This means I’m anti-Cowboys this week.
Pick: Seattle

Baltimore @ Chicago – This could be the ugliest 9-6 game of the year.
Pick: Baltimore

Buffalo @ Oakland – The 1st place Bills. I just wanted to say it while I still could.
Pick: Buffalo

Denver @ NY Giants – Very interesting matchup. I’m going to use the rule that Denver will be overconfident from beating up the Patriots last weekend.
Pick: NY Giants

Tennessee @ Arizona – The weather report is forecasting 88 degree steamy heat. That means pick up as many Arizona offensive players as possible!
Pick: Arizona

NY Jets @ Atlanta – Was there really a point in making an injured Vick go out there last week. Isn’t the whole point of having a capable backup to allow you to rest Vick? Honestly, I’m not sure when/if Vick will be 100% again this season. You’d think it would help his development in the pocket, but I he won’t learn until he’s FORCED to stay in the pocket, meaning he’s either older or suffered a severe injury. At least that’s how Randall Cunningham learned – because he had no other choice but to stay in the pocket!
Pick: Atlanta

Last week: 10-4
Season: 51-37
Manwich Matchup: 3-3 (My love for picking against the Patriots is working out quite well)
Upset Special: 1-5 (Picking the Browns is never a safe proposition).