I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. After a feast-induced slumber, I woke up, opened the sports section as I do every morning and saw that in a last second amendment to the Josh Beckett trade, the Marlins also sent Guillermo Mota to Boston for one additional minor leaguer. If this were an ESPN fantasy league, I'd have pressed the "protest" button a half-dozen times already. Three minor leaguers for Beckett and an expensive platoon player? Firesale tactics but at least you can justify it to a point. One more minor leaguer for the guy that was supposed to be your closer last year, the guy you traded Brad Penny for?
Ok, we've reached the point where the Marlins are colluding with the Red Sox. This is getting ridiculous. Next thing you know, Juan Pierre will be traded to Boston for a box of Dunkin' Donuts to fill in the Dave Roberts role of designated pinch runner. I'm not one for conspiracy theories but I could add a couple to the ones already circulating about the Red Sox-Marlins trades. After all, current Red Sox ownership can also be referred to as former Marlins ownership. Bud Selig delivered John Henry's crew to the revenue-generating city of Boston after permitting him to run the 1998-2002 Marlins into the ground. Baseball's so fucked up it's not even funny.
Ok, we've reached the point where the Marlins are colluding with the Red Sox. This is getting ridiculous. Next thing you know, Juan Pierre will be traded to Boston for a box of Dunkin' Donuts to fill in the Dave Roberts role of designated pinch runner. I'm not one for conspiracy theories but I could add a couple to the ones already circulating about the Red Sox-Marlins trades. After all, current Red Sox ownership can also be referred to as former Marlins ownership. Bud Selig delivered John Henry's crew to the revenue-generating city of Boston after permitting him to run the 1998-2002 Marlins into the ground. Baseball's so fucked up it's not even funny.
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Three quick things about the NFL and then I'll shut up for the day (no promises but I'll try):
1. Rumors abound that Lions head coach Steve Mariucci might be fired today. As I argued when Pirates manager Lloyd McClendon and Tigers manager Alan Trammell were fired, I just don't understand how you can fire a coach when he's in charge of such a terrible team. Ownership and management in Detroit is horrendous. Matt Millen is clearly the problem here with his lousy drafts and terrible signings. He's also made horrendous PR blunders with his statements about gays and minorities (even if he didn't mean them, which he probably didn't). If you want to fire someone, fire Matt Millen. The guy doens't even work out of the office in Detroit, he does all his GM stuff from home in another state. How can it be Mariucci's fault that Joey Harrington isn't a pro-caliber QB or that Charles Rogers doesn't believe in working hard or that the offensive line is lacking? In my opinion, coaching is like hot sauce -- you need the food in front of you before you can pour it on and then, you need to make sure to only put on the right amount. Too little hot sauce and your food's bland, too much and you're dropping acid rain in the toilet. The Lions haven't even cooked the meal yet. They're just a bunch of ingredients that look good on the kitchen counter but haven't turned into anything.
(Sorry if that metaphor was lost in translation...)
2. The Saints need to shut up already. Joe Horn and Ernie Conwell blasted the NFL and commissioner Tagliabue over a bunch of things including the team's up-in-the-air status. You know what guys? Be quiet. Hurricane Katrina is a tired excuse for the shitty performances you put out there week in and week out. Your coach stinks and should be fired. Your best players are all pussies. If I could even name someone on your defense I'm sure I'd say they suck too. If you're so unhappy with the way you're being treated by the league, go ahead and quit. I am so tired of hearing the Saints crying about everything...
3. The coinflip rule stinks. I'm not a Dallas fan by any stretch of the imagination so I'm thrilled they lost the game yesterday. I can't understand, however, how the most fan-friendly and creative league in pro sports can't just admit its mistake and go with the college format in overtime. Dallas is now, I believe, 1-2 in overtime. They've won one coin flip (vs. Giants) and lost two (vs. Seattle and Denver). You can't continue this stupid format any longer.
3 1/2. I hope Ron Dayne chokes on his wife's dick this weekend. The "running" back formerly known as Fatty McBust won the game yesterday with a 55 yard run in OT. Where was this talent when you were in NY, Ron? How come you didn't run right into your blockers like you used to? Of course I'm bitter; the Giants could've had Shaun Alexander instead of Ron Dayne. I hate Ron Dayne. At least the beat the Cowbitches though.
1. Rumors abound that Lions head coach Steve Mariucci might be fired today. As I argued when Pirates manager Lloyd McClendon and Tigers manager Alan Trammell were fired, I just don't understand how you can fire a coach when he's in charge of such a terrible team. Ownership and management in Detroit is horrendous. Matt Millen is clearly the problem here with his lousy drafts and terrible signings. He's also made horrendous PR blunders with his statements about gays and minorities (even if he didn't mean them, which he probably didn't). If you want to fire someone, fire Matt Millen. The guy doens't even work out of the office in Detroit, he does all his GM stuff from home in another state. How can it be Mariucci's fault that Joey Harrington isn't a pro-caliber QB or that Charles Rogers doesn't believe in working hard or that the offensive line is lacking? In my opinion, coaching is like hot sauce -- you need the food in front of you before you can pour it on and then, you need to make sure to only put on the right amount. Too little hot sauce and your food's bland, too much and you're dropping acid rain in the toilet. The Lions haven't even cooked the meal yet. They're just a bunch of ingredients that look good on the kitchen counter but haven't turned into anything.
(Sorry if that metaphor was lost in translation...)
2. The Saints need to shut up already. Joe Horn and Ernie Conwell blasted the NFL and commissioner Tagliabue over a bunch of things including the team's up-in-the-air status. You know what guys? Be quiet. Hurricane Katrina is a tired excuse for the shitty performances you put out there week in and week out. Your coach stinks and should be fired. Your best players are all pussies. If I could even name someone on your defense I'm sure I'd say they suck too. If you're so unhappy with the way you're being treated by the league, go ahead and quit. I am so tired of hearing the Saints crying about everything...
3. The coinflip rule stinks. I'm not a Dallas fan by any stretch of the imagination so I'm thrilled they lost the game yesterday. I can't understand, however, how the most fan-friendly and creative league in pro sports can't just admit its mistake and go with the college format in overtime. Dallas is now, I believe, 1-2 in overtime. They've won one coin flip (vs. Giants) and lost two (vs. Seattle and Denver). You can't continue this stupid format any longer.
3 1/2. I hope Ron Dayne chokes on his wife's dick this weekend. The "running" back formerly known as Fatty McBust won the game yesterday with a 55 yard run in OT. Where was this talent when you were in NY, Ron? How come you didn't run right into your blockers like you used to? Of course I'm bitter; the Giants could've had Shaun Alexander instead of Ron Dayne. I hate Ron Dayne. At least the beat the Cowbitches though.
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