Week 12 – Levels of Insanity

I finally read Bill Simmons (mock) article defending TO, which had some very valid points, even though it was written as a joke. With that in mind, I decided to come up with the “7 Levels of Insanity”, just to put in perspective how much WORSE the TO situation could have been.

1 – TO – just selfish and wants more money, but still is one of the best in the game
2- Bill Romanowski – known Steroid user who can facilitate teammates' access to BALCO
3- Randy Moss – will refuse to block if unhappy, and has dragged a meter-collector down the streets of Minneapolis
4- Ryan Leaf / Cade McNown – white-man superiority complex; ripping on teammates for not protecting while throwing 4 INTs per game.
5-Dennis Rodman – will only show up to the games (not practices), and will do anything for attention leading up to each game
6- Ron Artest – will harm fans if hit by object
7- Latrell Spreewell – will harm his own coach if aggravated

So you see, keeping TO on the team may be worth it after all, it’s only a 1.0 on the Insanity scale. Please note, I was going to put Mike Tyson on the list, but it didn’t fit because biting the ears of an opponent in an individual sport didn’t fit in this team sport level of insanity (though Mike Tyson is insane of course). I also couldn’t relate Rae Carruth’s actions to the team sport of football and making light of his situation was disturbing, so I left him off the list.

Random Note of the week-
Did you know? Brandon Rush plays for Kansas, and he is the little brother of JaRon Rush (UCLA), and Kareem Rush (Missouri). It’s almost mandatory at this point that every 3-5 years, a new Rush must enter NCAA Basketball. I expect a similar trend starting in 2010 for Shawn Kemp offspring.

On to the games…
Manwich Matchup of the week
NY Giants @ Seattle- The winner of this game really could be the favorite in the NFC. The winner would certainly have the inside track to homefield advantage. I’m just rooting for backup QB Tim Hasseleck to take the field, so we can have the first-ever brother vs. brother QB competition.
Pick: Seattle

Upset of the week
St. Louis @ Houston- St. Louis is terrible on the road, and is using Jaime Martin as their QB. It’s a prime opportunity to pickup a 2nd win for the Texans.
Pick: Houston

Atlanta @ Detroit- Whenever I think of Thanksgiving day games, I always think of when Madden was on Fox in the early ‘90s, and they gave out this turkey that had six wings. The cooks were so skilled, they made it really look like the wings came from one mutant turkey. I also remember this big, fat D-lineman, Jerry Ball, winning the turkey, and eating 2 wings while being interviewed by Madden on the nuances of hitting a defenseless QB. I love Thanksgiving!
Pick: Atlanta

Denver @ Dallas- This should be a good game, and it will be interesting to gauge how good the Dallas defense really is. Dallas’s defense has been steady, but has had their relapses at time, and I’m curious to see how they attack the Mike Anderson / Tatum Bell two-headed monster.
Pick: Dallas

Balt @ Cincy- Brian "Cobra Commander" Billick got a nice victory last week. But there's a big difference between playing Tommy Maddox and Carson Palmer. It's like comparing a Yugo to a Lamborghini.
Pick: Cincy

CAR @ Buffalo- I fully expect CAR to bounce back, and I still am dumbfounded by the Chicago Bears.
Pick: CAR

Chicago @ TB- Don’t forget, the Houston Texans beat the Cleveland Browns who beat the Bears that beat the Panthers.
Pick: TB

Cleveland @ Minnesota- Reuben “Attack of the” Droughans has been relentless. However, the Vikings are back in playoff contention, and I’m going to stick with the hotter hand.
Pick: Minnesota

NE @ KC- This is an interesting game. The Pats defense has been suspect all season, and I’m not sure if they will figure out how to stop the Chiefs either.
Pick: KC

SD @ Washington- Marty “The Party” Schottenheimer will be loving the passing game and will do his best to run up the score on former employer, Redskins owner Dan Snyder.
Pick: SD

San Fran @ Tennessee- Yawn.
Pick: Tennessee

Jack @ Arizona- Jacksonville is really pushing for a wild card spot, and once again, the outcome of this game depends on the weather. Forecast: High 63, winnable game.
Pick: Jacksonville

Miami @ Oakland- I love when Porter goes nuts, and the following week, teams go back to single coverage on Moss. Every other week, Porter has huge games, and I just hope it continues for my fantasy team’s sake.
Pick: Oakland

GB @ Philly- The real moral of the story in the TO saga? Every team should have a separate coach and GM. At a minimum, there should be someone that negotiates with the players, even if its just a "puppet GM, just to alleviate the tension. IF you have two separate people, one can negotiate and take hard-line stances. Meanwhile, the coach can pretend to be on the player’s side, and focus on just the football. So really, this whole TO mess can be blamed on Hungry Hungry Hippo Andy Reid.
Pick: GB

NO @ NY Jets- America’s team has a winnable game against 4th-string QB Brooks Bollinger.
Pick: NO
Last week: 9-7
Season: 98-62
Manwich Matchup: 6-5 (Vick couldn’t get it done)
Upset Special: 2-9 (The Bengals came close against the Colts)