Week 11 – Mario Kart Mania

In honor of MJ’s Mario Kart reference, I’m going to pay tribute to one of the top video games of all time for this week’s full 16-game schedule.

Manwich Matchup of the Week-
TB @ Atlanta- This should be a great game. Apparently, the Falcons partied all week leading up to the Green Bay game. This was similar to someone drinking heavily before a Mario Kart battle, and thinking they could perform just as well. The Falcons just didn’t realize that everyone has limits. Just like the Falcons, even I could win in Mario Kart while drunk, but not every time. I have a feeling the Falcons will be more motivated this week after their pathetic loss last week.
Pick: Atlanta

Upset of the Week-
Indy @ Cincy – I agree that the Colts are the best team in the league, and they still will be even if they lose. There may only be one thing that can stop them, the dreaded spiked shell. Eventually, someone gets a spiked shell to provide a setback to the leader, and I think the Bengals are more than capable of launching that spiked shell. And remember, once launched, there’s no escaping the spiked shell.
Pick: Cincy

Arizona @ St. Louis- After Roy Williams used a super-mushroom 3 times to get past the Cardinals last week, the Rams were welcoming a change. Unfortunately, the Cardinals travel to the super-fast St. Louis Speedway.
Pick: St. Louis

CAR @ Chicago- The Chicago “Donkey Kongs” have been using a combination of brute strength, heat-seeking turtle shells, and the motto that “slow and steady wins the race.” Unfortunately for them, they are playing a team that is not afraid to litter the course with bananas while using speed (Steve Smith) to evade any shells.
Pick: CAR

Detroit @ Dallas- The star is that invincible item, right?
Pick: Dallas

Jacksonville @ Tennessee- I could picture Jacksonville letting Tennesee have the lead in the beginning of the game, just so that they could pick up some red shells and beat the Titans silly.
Pick: Jacksonville

Miami @ Cleveland- After getting waxed by Pittsburgh, Cleveland head coach Romeo Crennel told his team, “We will never be able to compete in this league unless we are able to power slide.”
Pick: Miami

New Orleans @ New England- And Coach Bill Belichick said, “Let’s go!”
Pick: New England

Oakland @ Washington- Don’t you hate when you finish 4 races, and someone has to get up to reset the machine, because it’s absolutely mind-numbing to sit through that awards ceremony?
Pick: Washington

Philly @ NY Giants- I’d be pretty disappointed if I were the Eagles and used my “ghost”, hoping for a good item, and then it only turned out to be QB Mike McMahon.
Pick: NY Giants

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore- And the evil Wario laughed, “I’m a Pittsburgh, and I’m a gonna win!”
Pick: Pittsburgh

Seattle @ San Fran- San Fran may be a glitch in the NFL – a team that really is from the 50cc but competing on the 150cc. As we all know, the 50cc circuit is inferior, and the other racers purposely run into obstacles and fall into lava pits, just to allow you to win. It’s kind of similar to the 49ers strategy for this season.
Pick: Seattle

Buffalo @ San Diego- This should be an interesting game, but San Diego is represented by a lightning bolt, the best item in the game, and could shrink their opponents to mini-Bills at any moment.
Pick: San Diego

NY Jets @ Denver- And the Jets kept screaming, “I swear my controller isn’t working!" Denver refused to reset the game though.
Pick: Denver

KC @ Houston- After yet another loss, Houston QB David Carr said, “oh man, how did that red shell get through my offensive line. I had all 3 shells rotating about me!”
Pick: KC

Minnesota @ GB- Mike Tice, regarding his injured knee from last week when someone ran into him on the sideline: “This is an insignificant injury. You can't keep me off the sideline. MCL, PCL, ACL, cartilage, I don't really care. I don't have to tackle or block or do any of those things. I just walk up and down, talk in the headphones." Let’s just hope he doesn’t walk into any fake prize-boxes.
Pick: Minnesota

Last week: 9-5 (Good! The league isn’t as predictable as feared.)
Season: 89-55
Manwich Matchup: 6-4 (Thank you Seattle SuperSeahawks)
Upset Special: 2-8 (This time the Chiefs did me in. I stink at upsets this year.)