Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Mark Buehrle

I wanted to quickly mention Mark Buerhle’s ridiculous contention that the Texas Rangers cheat at their home ballpark by stealing signs and then relaying those signs to hitters through a use of light signals in center field. It is Buerhle’s belief that the Rangers’ hitters knew what pitches were coming, hence the reason they were able to get 9 hits and 4 runs off him. Buerhle cited the Rangers’ home-road splits as evidence that they cheat at home and don’t hit as well on the road.

Mark, buddy, let’s be clear about this. EVERYONE hits well at Ameriquest Field. Shit, your teammates scored a combined 14 runs yesterday in the doubleheader. When was the last time your shitty offense scored like that? A couple of weeks? Don’t give us this crap about cheating. Also, don’t flatter yourself so much to think that the Rangers have to resort to cheating in order to hit your stuff. You’re good but you’re not that good. What, you’ve never gotten hit hard by a good offense before? Give it a rest and quit bitching. Then again, you’re on the Chicago White Sox. All you pathetic slumlord losers do is bitch, bitch, bitch. Your manager is the Queen Bitch. All of you schmucks should thank your lucky stars you’re even relevant enough to make the sports news. Next time you open your mouth, you should re-read your contract. It clearly says that no member of the White Sox should ever whine since the White Sox franchise and all its players barely qualify as “Major League.” If not for the beneficence of patient Chicagoans who permit a second team to drag them down, you’d all be shining shoes for a living. Now shut up and get your shinebox.

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